Xtreme Xmas Xover
by Chris7221
Summary: Six days, six chapters. Crack  ish  crossover with at least ME, SG, and one more. When two ships are thrown into an alternate universe, will they be able to get back? Can they save Christmas from the turmoil they caused?
1. Day One

I was bored, so I came up with this. Five days until Christmas, five chapters. One a day. It is a crack crossover, with Stargate, Mass Effect, and at least one other. It has a Christmas theme, sort of, and takes place around Christmas time. I felt that it was time for me to do a Christmas fic, too, but of course I'm doing my own brand of Christmas fic. It will be rather rushed and unpolished, but that's the tradeoff for real-time updates.

* * *

><p><em>USS Daedalus<br>December 20, 2010_

"I know what you're thinking," General Jack O'Neill said to the assembled teams. Both SG-1 and AR-1 sat in the briefing room alongside himself and the commander of the Daedalus, Colonel Steven Caldwell. "It's five days until Christmas, and with two unstable galaxies, you've got more important things to do."

"Wasn't thinking that at all," LCol John Sheppard quipped.

Beside him, Vala Mal Doran whispered to Daniel, "What's Christmas?"

He hurriedly hissed, "It's a big celebration, religious roots but the meaning is a bit different now. I'll explain it later."

Vala leaned up against him. "I think it would be better for you to explain it now."

"Kids!" Lieutenant Colonel Cameron Mitchell shouted, silencing them. Directly to his left, Colonel Samantha Carter rolled her eyes. "Please, general, continue."

"So, guess where we're going?" the General asked.

"Kill Wraith," Ronon guessed.

"Yes, Ronon, we're going away from Pegasus to kill Wraith," Doctor Rodney McKay said sarcastically.

"Rodney-" Doctor Keller and Teyla Emmagan said at the same time.

"To study a subspace anomaly with physics-breaking potential," Sam said. Seeing everyone's shocked expression, she added, "What? I have my sources."

"Indeed," Teal'c acknowledged, tilting his head.

"Sam's right," Jack confirmed. "On a scouting run, a Free Jaffa ship detected something nobody has ever seen before. It didn't mean much to them, but they told us. And get this- it's in close proximity to P4C-970."

"The Aschen," Cam whispered.

"Yes, and that's why-" Jack stopped speaking when the ship violently shuddered and the lights flickered. Alarms began going off, and the group ran for the bridge, Caldwell in the lead.

Sitting down in his customary position in the middle of the bridge, Caldwell calmly ordered, "Report."

"We dropped out of hyperspace," Major Marks reported. "No damage, it just power-spiked and stopped working."

"I knew it!" Rodney said smugly. He jabbed a finger at the bridge window, where a massive accretion disc was visible. "The distortion is growing. Of course, without a rate of growth we can't calculate a safe distance."

"Is that a distortion?" Vala asked.

"No, that's the accretion disc, a field of debris attracted by gravitational pull, usually of a black hole," Sam explained.

"Oh, so it's a big black hole?"

Rodney replied to that question before Sam could. "In every conceivable way, no."

"Then what is it?"

"A trap," Marks replied. "Detecting three unidentified contacts, about eight hundred metres long and pretty wide. They're headed straight for us, extremely fast speed."

"Arm all weapons," Caldwell ordered coolly. "Come about and get us away from the distortion, best possible speed. When can we use the hyperdrive again?"

Marks shrugged. "Impossible to tell, sir."

"Then we'll have to either talk or fight our way out of it. Hail them."

"Audio message only." Marks played it back.

"These vessels are agents of the Aschen Confederation. Your interests conflict with ours, and your vessel will be destroyed to prevent further interference."

"Guess that leaves us with one option," O'Neill said. "You're clear to engage at will, Colonel."

The Daedalus swung around, bringing the three long, silvery ships into view. Within seconds, they opened fire with energy weapons firing yellow-green bolts. Shuddering, the Daedalus returned fire, railguns and missiles peppering against the tough barriers.

A larger blue beam raced from each of the ships, and the three hit the Daedalus in the same spot. "Shields down to thirty percent!"

"Try to get us out of their firing arc!" Caldwell ordered over the din of exploding consoles and firing extinguishers. "Charge the Asgard beams and bring us within range!"

"Yes sir!" Marks acknowledged as a console blew out behind him, injuring the unfortunate engineer manning it. Sam took his post.

Engines at full power, the small Earth ship accelerated towards the larger ones. Bright blue beams lanced from projectors at the extreme bow, ripping through the shields of one of the Aschen warships. The engines flickered and died shortly before it broke in three and the reactor detonated, blowing it to pieces. Before the Daedalus could get off another shot, however, the other two Aschen vessels opened fire with their powerful main cannons. Again they impacted in the same spot, forward of the bridge.

"Shields down to fifteen percent!" Marks shouted. "Asgard weapons nonfunctional. I don't think we can take another hit, sir!"

"Evasive manoeuvres, focus fire on their weapons!" Caldwell ordered in response. "I need that hyperdrive!"

"Well we can activate it now if you want to get blown to pieces!" Rodney said snarkily.

"Are you certain?" John asked.

"Well, no, there's always some uncertainty-"

"At this range, there's a fifty percent chance we'll be obliterated if we attempt to open a hyperspace window," Sam replied more helpfully. She was nearly thrown out of her chair as one of the beams grazed the shields on the Daedalus. "By the way, we just lost shields."

"And the other fifty percent?" Caldwell asked. The ship shook as the less powerful bolts impacted directly on the hull.

"We could transition safely or end up a million light-years away, or worse!"

"That's a chance we're going to have to take," Jack said. "Colonels, do it!"

"Yes, sir!"

As another pair of deadly blue beams raced toward the Daedalus, it suddenly disappeared.

_Normandy SR-2  
>December 20, 2185<em>

It wasn't long ago when Commander Jane Shepard had risen from the dead to defeat the Collectors. At the time, she had been forced to work with Cerberus, a radical pro-human group. Since then, she had cut all ties, destroying the very treasure that they so desperately wanted- the Collector station. It hadn't always been like that. Before she had been killed and brought back, Cerberus was the enemy. She worked for the Alliance, though somewhat outside their chain of command as a Spectre, to bring down Saren Arterius. Saren had allied himself with (a rogue faction of, it turned out) the Geth, an army of synthetics, to raid the Citadel and bring the Reapers to the galaxy. Even one of the massive robotic starships could massacre an entire fleet, and it did. At the time, Jane was a hero.

That didn't last. Now, she was heading back to Earth to face a trial for crimes she didn't commit. Even as the Reapers drew closer, politicians refused to acknowledge them and former heroes were left disgraced. She could cut and run, of course, and they would never find her. But in the long run, the consequences would be even worse.

Jane shook her head to clear the thoughts as she entered the briefing room. Everyone stood up as she entered, though it was more for the lack of chairs than anything. She briefly looked over everyone in the room.

Lieutenant Ashley Williams, who was a loyal, if opinionated, Gunnery Chief back on the first Normandy. Garrus Vakarian, a turian C-Sec officer turned vigilante. Tali'Zorah vas Neema, the best chief engineer anyone could ask for, even among the quarians. All were original members of the SR-1 crew, and both Tali and Garrus had been on the SR-2 as well. Sadly, the other half of the original six couldn't make it. Lieutenant Kaiden Alenko was KIA, a nightmare Jane still occasionally revisited. Urdnot Wrex and Liara T'Soni were busy being some of the most powerful people in the galaxy.

Not all of her second crew were there, either. Zaeed had left as soon as his contract was up. He summed it up, "Nothing personal, Shepard, just business." Samara had left of her own accord, as the strict code she followed would force her to kill many of the people she had once fought alongside. Thane had left to spend the last of his days with his son. Grunt, pure krogan warrior, had left for Tuchanka to join Wrex's clan. Jack... they didn't know where she went. All she had said to them was "Later, losers," then she was gone.

That still left quite a few. Miranda Lawson and Jacob Taylor were originally Cerberus, but had stayed with her, even shedding their Cerberus colours when they did so. There was also the Geth platform, which EDI had named Legion. Though he (the crew unanimously referred to him as male) was initially viewed with suspicion, even Tali quickly came to like him. That left Mordin Solus, fast talking scientist salarian, and Kasumi Goto...

"Kasumi!" Jane shouted. "Where are you?"

A hooded figure fizzled into view in the corner of the room. "Sorry, Shep."

"Great, now that everyone's here, I'd like to offer you all one last chance to back out. You're not on trial, I am. But that doesn't mean you're out of danger. I'm sure the scientists would love to rip Legion apart down to every tiny gear in his body."

"There are no gears within this unit," Legion corrected. "In any case, we believe the risk of disassembly minimal when weighed against the importance of this task."

There were a few chuckles at the unintentional humour. "Miranda, Jacob, your Cerberus background makes you targets. Both from the Illusive Man and the Alliance."

"Noted, Commander," Miranda replied, Australian accent strong as ever.

Jacob crossed his arms. "Frankly, I don't really give a damn anymore."

Jane nodded in response. "Kasumi, you're a thief."

"Aw, that's not very nice," she replied with mock sadness.

"You could end up going to jail," Jane cautioned.

"Me? Never."

"Mordin-"

"Risk of interrogation extant, but slight. No problems supporting Commander."

"Uh, good to hear it. Garrus, there are still a lot of people on Earth that hate turians. Even if they don't do anything to you, it could affect your Spectre candidacy."

"I know, Shepard. If something happens, well, I guess it would be too late to worry about it." It was a sad attempt at humour, and totally fell flat.

Jane continued, pacing around the room in front of each person. "Tali, your people are hated universally. I hate to admit it, but there are people on Earth that would kill you given the opportunity. And self-defence is subjective."

Tali's iridescent eyes fluttered behind her mask. "I'll stay safe and out of trouble, don't worry."

Completing her circular rounds, Jane came face to face with Ash. "Lieutenant, you're officially my escort. Your career is on the line, here. If you say or do anything that's not in line, there are people that will make sure you never make it to Captain."

She cocked her head. "Nobody thought I'd make Chief. Why are you telling us this, anyway?"

The Commander turned to face everyone in the room. "The point I'm trying to make is that everyone has something to lose, and nothing to gain. If you back out now, nobody is going to think the lesser of you for it."

A few glances were exchanged, and finally, Garrus said, "I think we've all got your back, Commander."

"Good," Jane said, keying the comm panel. "Joker, take us into the relay. We're going home."

_USS Daedalus  
>Unknown Time, Unknown Location<em>

"What the hell just happened?" Caldwell asked, struggling to his feet. "And someone get that fire out!"

"Well, I think that's pretty obvious," Rodney said. "We took a chance and it backfired on us. Oh, and I sure hope this smoke isn't carcinogenic."

"Rodney!" Sam shouted. "It was the best option at the time, a fifty-fifty chance."

"Well, I think it worked out okay, personally," Cam said, pointing at the window. Visible through it was a blue marble of a planet, quite clearly Earth.

"The chances of that are... astronomical," Sam breathed.

"And yet it happened anyway," Jack shrugged. "Let's head on home."

"Wait!" Rodney shouted. "Something's wrong."

"What is it?" John asked, irritated.

"I'm not picking up any sign of the Antarctic installation or the Stargate."

There was a short silence, which Caldwell, ever the pragmatist, broke. "Could it be a sensor glitch?"

"No. Sensors are working perfectly."

"Not this again," John mumbled. "You're certain?"

"Yes. I think we've entered an alternate reality."

"How different is it?" Daniel immediately asked. "I mean, if we go on the theory that this Earth never discovered the Stargate, there are going to be differences."

"Can you tap into their radio broadcasts, doctor?" Caldwell asked.

"Give me a moment." He spent a minute or so hammering on the console. "Well, I have good news, bad news, and somewhere in between news. What do you want to hear first?"

"Good."

"Bad."

"Mediocre."

"Okay, I'll start with the good news, since everyone is always so optimistic. The good news is that this Earth is mostly the same as our Earth. Canada is Canada, the United States is the United States, we have an internet and the population is basically the same. There are a few differences- has anyone ever heard of Barack Obama?

"The bad news is that although I can't be sure until we get into the Pentagon's databases, I don't think there was ever a Stargate here. Or anything Stargate-related, actually. It's like an alternate universe with no Stargate at all."

"What about the mediocre news?" Vala asked.

"We seemed to have jumped a year forward. Kim Jong-Il's death was announced as December 17, 2011. Google released the Galaxy Nexus- whatever the hell that is- December 15, 2011. There was a rebellion in Libya earlier this year. As far as I can tell, though, it was exactly a year- today is December 20, 2011. Well, on our side of the date line, anyway."

There was another awkward silence, this time broken by John Sheppard. "So, we're in an alternate universe?"

"As far as I can tell, yes."

"Can we go back?" Caldwell asked.

"What, do I look like some kind of miracle worker to you? What?"

Sam leaned over and whispered, "You know, you blow up one sun-"

"Yes, okay, I can fix this if you GIVE ME SOME TIME!"

"Glad to hear it," Jack said. "Colonel, do you think we can cloak and remain undetected until the eggheads figure it out?"

"I'm afraid I'm the bringer of bad news this time, sir," Marks explained from his station ahead of the commander. "In her current state, the Daedalus won't be able to maintain orbit much longer, let alone escape detection. Engines are at minimal power, life support is damaged and we are venting atmosphere."

"Can you get her down safely?" Jack asked, in a more sober tone.

"Yes, sir, I can, but we're going to raise one hell of a ruckus," Marks replied.

"It's your ship, Colonel," Jack said to the commander of the Daedalus.

"Pick a nice empty spot to land," Caldwell ordered.

"I'm afraid I don't have that much control over our descent, sir."

"Then take her down as gently as you can."

"Yes, sir."

_Normandy SR-2  
>Unknown Time, Unknown Location<em>

Commander Shepard was thrown off her feet and onto the deck moments after giving the order to enter the relay. Spitting out a mouthful of blood, she scrambled upright. The main lighting had switched to a red colour, and acrid smoke drifted across the room. "Everyone okay?"

There was a murmur of confirmation as the crew struggled back up, checking on each other as they did so. "EDI, what the hell is going on?"

The blue holographic avatar of the ship's AI appeared on a pedestal on the edge of the table. "The mass relay has malfunctioned, resulting in a rough and inaccurate jump. I am currently in the process of gathering data. The Normandy has been damaged, but there are no immediately life-threatening failures."

"Uh, Commander, I think you should see this," Joker's shaky voice said over the comm.

"On my way." Ignoring the bruises, Jane strode through the armoury, where several weapons were knocked asunder, into the much more badly damaged CIC. Cabling hung loose from the ceiling, and several fried consoles poured out smoke. She headed forward, into the cockpit.

Upon seeing her, Joker opened the cockpit shutters. "Does that look like an ice dwarf or what, Commander?"

Jane peered through the window. It was a tiny dot against the background of starry space. "I'll take your word for it. But I don't see how it matters."

"Well, what about this? Hold on, this might take a while, the thrusters are a bit screwy." Joker turned the ship around, spinning it until several planets were visible. Jane immediately focused on the closest one. Could it be-

"Is that Earth?" Ashley Williams asked, appearing behind her.

EDI's bubble-like avatar popped up in the cockpit terminal. "Visual scans show that there is a ninety-nine percent chance the planet in question is indeed Earth. However, all communications attempts have failed."

"Yeah, and I think it's pretty obvious what's behind us now, right, Commander?" Joker said. "I think we travelled back in time."

"Temporal displacement possible," Mordin theorized, causing everyone to jump. "Never proven, but possible."

"I am detecting no traces of Element Zero, on Earth, Mars, or Charon," EDI added.

"Temporal displacement unlikely." Mordin sucked in a mouthful of air. "Could be universal displacement."

"I'm sorry, what did you just say?" Jane asked.

"The professor things we ended up in an alternate universe," Joker rephrased.

"Are you kidding me?" Ash asked.

"Professor Solus' theory may be correct," EDI stated. "However, it appears that we have also moved backwards in time, assuming that it flows the same way in this universe. Judging by radio broadcasts that have escaped Earth, I estimate the date at around the twentieth of December-"

"Oh, that's not so bad-"

"2011."

"Oh, that's bad," Joker said, backtracking on his opinion. "Real bad."

"Take us in, fast and silent," Jane ordered.

_USS Daedalus  
>December 20, 2011<em>

"Where are we going to land, Major?" Caldwell asked. Along with the heat that was no doubt turning them into a very bright shooting star, the stress of reentry was also causing the ship to violently shake. And it was nothing compared to what it would be without the advanced engines and inertial dampeners mounted on the vessel.

"Somewhere between Washington and Annapolis, sir!"

"Well, it could be worse," Jack shouted from behind them. "We could end up in some shithole third-world dictatorship."

In front of Sam, her console bleeped. "Huh."

"What is it?"

"I'm picking up a transmission, from high Earth orbit. It's voice only, but quite understandable."

"Put it on!" Caldwell ordered.

"-Commander Jane Shepard of the Normandy. If anyone can hear this transmission, please respond. This is-"

"Match their frequency and hail them," Jack ordered. "Put me on."

He slipped an earpiece on. "This is General Jack O'Neill of the Earth ship Daedalus. We read you loud and clear, over."

"General? Am I speaking with an Alliance officer, sir?"

"Depends which Alliance you're talking about."

"The Systems Alliance of Earth, sir."

Jack cast a worried glance at Sam, who shrugged. "Uh, yeah, no. I'm United States Air Force."

"USAF?" Jane asked incredulously. "I've studied military history, and I'm pretty sure they didn't have any starships in 2011. If you really are-"

There was a muffled explosion, and Sam reported, "Just picked up a burst of energy released from the Normandy. Exotic, too, but I have no idea what caused it."

"Damn it!" Jane shouted, her voice clipping the audio stream. "We took a beating on the way in, and we just lost the capacity to maintain orbit."

"Roger that, Normandy, we're giving you an approach vector. It might not be the best one in the world, but we don't have a choice and I have this nagging feeling that we'll be better off if we stick together. I can explain later, but we're basically in the same boat as you are." Jack nodded toward Sam.

"Got it. I hope to hell you know what you're doing. Normandy out."

_Near Washington, DC  
>December 20, 2011<em>

It started as a slight rumbling, but quickly grew into a howling roar. Along with the massive noise was a trail of fire in the night sky, which also started small but grew into something much bigger. Then, as soon as it had started, it was over. With one last colossal bang, the trail of fire and the rumbling disappeared.

Jacob Preston, ex-Marine, ran out of his house with his old Colt .45 in hand. Not too far from his house, occupying his entire yard and crushing the forest next to it was a massive grey... something. His mind was still going through the possibilities when the second one came down.

It seemed to be sleeker than the first, but was just as loud and obnoxious when it came down. The second object was a tad smaller, though it was also further away and that screwed with his perception.

Were they meteors? Had aliens arrived on Earth? Were the Russians invading? Those were some of the possibilities that went through Preston's head as he dialled 911 on his cell phone. He gave his name and address, then proceeded to describe what just happened.

"A big grey... something, like I dunno, could be aliens or some kinda space thing, came outta the sky. Then another one came, and it slammed down right beside it."

"How big, sir?" the dispatcher asked incredulously.

"Like, really fucking big, way bigger than my fucking house big."

Jane Shepard led her team out of the cargo bay of the Normandy. For now, it consisted only of herself, Ash, and Garrus- those who weren't busy and she could trust. The explosion had damaged their engines and knocked them out of orbit. A few of the crew were injured, though luckily nobody was killed. Of course, they still had to fix the ship. Now that they were down, she figured that they could talk in person with the people on the Daedalus- and maybe figure out what the hell was going on.

They were only a few paces out of the cargo bay when they noticed the house and the man in front of it, talking on some kind of portable communicator. Ashley was the first to point it out. "Uh, Commander, I think we have a problem here."

"That's not good," Shepard agreed. She waved to the man. "Hey! Don't worry, we're human!"

"Well, mostly," Garrus whispered. Jane nodded, wishing that they hadn't brought all their weapons and worn full armour. It was very intimidating.

The effect was the opposite than that intended. As soon as he saw the trio, the man dropped the device and started shooting at them, rather ineffectually. With lightning speed, Garrus brought out his own sniper rifle and put a bullet into him. Though he was hoping for a non-lethal shot, the bullet went straight through the man's heart.

"Damn it!" Jane shouted, racing toward the fallen man. She checked his pulse with two fingers. None, though there was a lot of blood on her glove now. "Well, that's just great, we've been in the past for less than an hour and we've already killed somebody."

"Sorry, Commander," Garrus apologized. "He was shooting, and I shot back."

"Not your fault, Garrus," Jane replied, sinking her helmeted head into her hand. "Damn it."

She examined the body. Holding a gun, probably sounding mentally deranged on the call- "We'll make it look like a suicide. I don't like it, but it's the best we can do right now. I don't want to be found, and I sure as hell don't want to be blamed for his death."

As his superior carried the limp body into the house, Garrus remarked, "So much for being discreet."

"Yeah," Jane agreed, arranging the gun in the man's bloody hands. "There's gonna be hell to pay for this."

* * *

><p>Tell me what you think.<p> 


	2. Day Two

Day Two:

_Washington, DC  
>December 21, 2011<em>

Quickly, Agent Tony DiNozzo closed the chat program on his computer and stood up as his boss strode in. Luckily for him, the great Leroy Jethro Gibbs hadn't noticed. Passing in front of Ziva's desk and heading towards McGee's, he ordered curtly, "Grab your gear. Marine, probable suicide."

"What, now?" Tony asked. "It's Christmas time!"

McGee cocked his head. "Actually, suicide rates are some of the highest this time of year."

"But it's Christmas!" Tony protested, grabbing his sidearm. "Happy endings, smiles all around. A Christmas Story, White Christmas, The Santa-"

"Not all is as it seems, Tony," Ziva David said as she strode powerfully towards the elevator.

"See, it's a good season! Even Ziva is getting her idioms right!" As Tony entered the elevator, she shot him a death glare. Fortunately, Tony knew that looks couldn't kill.

That was a job reserved for the gun at her hip... or any sufficiently sharp or heavy object.

* * *

><p><em>Near Washington, DC<em>

After some deliberation, and a rather loud "YOU DID WHAT?" from General O'Neill, it was decided that the house would be used as a neutral meeting location until things could be sorted out. A few hours after the initial landing, the two full groups met nervously just outside the house.

Though neither side had their weapons drawn, everyone kept them close at hand. Commander Jane Shepard couldn't help but notice the way they were equipped. Despite their ship, which suggested a higher level of technology, the crew of the Daedalus was equipped just like they should have been for 2011- slightly worse, in fact. They wore fabric uniforms, coloured either grey or green. Vests covered their torsos, but they seemed to be more for carrying things than for protection. Most of them carried relatively small weapons- SMGs by her guess. They were eleven of them in total, mostly male. All human, which wasn't unexpected.

General Jack O'Neill was equally surprised. Most of Shepard's group wore full-body armour of one form or another. Their weapons didn't look particularly special, but they carried quite a bit of firepower in total. The group was also very diverse, with some weird humans and even weirder aliens. There was a flashlight-headed robot and a woman who looked mostly human but her face was obscured, and she had three fingers. There was also another alien with a thin waist and bulging chest, and he (Jack pegged him as a "he") had a face that was vaguely birdlike or reptilian. And there was an alien that looked vaguely like a stereotypical one, but vastly different than the Asgard he knew and loved. He (again, Jack thought of this alien as a "him") had pronounced horns on his head, one of which was missing, and a dark reddish skin colouration. Including both humans and aliens, they totalled eight in all.

Taking a cautious step toward the heavily armoured woman that seemed to be the leader, he held out his hand and asked, "Are you Commander Shepard?"

Jane took it with a firm grasp. "Yes, I am. I assume you're General O'Neill?"

"Last time I checked," Jack replied. "So, do you want to introduce your people first, or should I?"

Jane shrugged. "Doesn't matter."

"Then I guess I'll go, in the spirit of mutual cooperation," He started with a blonde-haired woman. "Colonel Sam Carter, astrophysicist." She nodded when pointed out.

"Doctor Rodney McKay." A smug-looking man with a Canadian flag patch visible on his arm. He leaned in closer to Jane. "As smart as Carter, but don't tell either of them that."

He continued, pointing out first a man with glasses, then the dark-haired woman beside him. "That's Daniel Jackson, crackpot archaeologist. Well, it turned out that the pyramids really were landing pads for alien spaceships. Vala Mal Doran- she's not from Earth."

"You have colonies?" Jane interjected.

"Uh, sort of. I can explain later." The General continued pointing out his people. Teal'c, alien warrior and defector to the "light side". Ronon Dex, another alien warrior from another galaxy, but less alien and less warrior. Doctor Jennifer Keller, actual medical doctor. Teyla Emmagan, leader of a people they found within five minutes of reaching Pegasus-

"Wait, you've been to other _galaxies?_" Shepard asked incredulously. "I think we have a lot of explaining to do."

"I agree." O'Neill rushed through the last ones, ending with Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard.

That drew a chuckle from the Commander. "You know, they said that if I was a boy, they would have named me John. This is going to get real confusing, real quick."

"Eh, it's not that bad," John replied. "You'll get used to it."

"Maybe you should introduce your team inside," Jack suggested. The rain was starting to come down, and it was pretty cold. "Because of, you know, the weather."

Jane was about to say something about toughing it out, but stopped. First, that was a good way to piss people off, which wasn't good when working with a potential ally _or_ a potential enemy. Secondly, they didn't have temperature-controller suits like her team did, so exposure would be much worse for them. "Lead the way, General."

The living room of the house was cramped, but they managed to fit the group, nearly two dozen, inside. Sam, Rodney, and Tali managed to snag the sole sofa, and Daniel declined to snuggle with Vala on the rocking chair. Everyone else either stood or sat on the floor. Shutting the door behind him, Jack said, "Your turn."

Though it was not intentional, Jane's introductions went from most normal to most insane. First up was Lieutenant Ashley Williams, space marine. Then came Jacob Taylor and Miranda Lawson, ex-Cerberus operatives. She did not describe Cerberus, but everyone got a bad vibe from the name anyway. Kasumi Goto, master (reformed, she quickly added) thief. Tali'Zorah vas Neema nar Rayya. In the space of thirty seconds, Tali gave a nervous rundown of why the quarian people had to live in suits, leading to Rodney making a snarky remark about "Travelers with no immune system, and Cylons to boot" and a sharp rebuke from the other Sheppard. Professor Mordin Solus, scientist salarian who killed with farming equipment ("Will explain later."). Garrus Vakarian, turian ex-cop, ex-vigilante, soon-to-be intergalactic agent.

"And Legion. I think you should explain this one yourself."

"We are Geth. The platform you refer to as 'Legion' consists of one-thousand-one-hundred-eighty-three runtimes. We express interest in convening."

"He's still working on the whole 'interacting with organics' thing," Jane excused. "Now that we know each others' names, I guess we can be a little less suspicious. I want to know-"

"Who we are and where we came from?" John asked. "Well, that's a long story."

He quickly summed up how they got where they were. "On Earth, we found an alien artifact called a Stargate, allowing near-instantaneous travel between worlds. In 1997 we used it. We made some friends, made some enemies, fought a couple of wars, and learned a lot in the process. Back in oh-four- that's 2004- I was on the team that went to Atlantis-"

"The lost city of Atlantis?" Miranda asked.

"In a way," Daniel explained, "It turned out the creators- same people who built the Stargates, built Atlantis too. Atlantis did sink to the bottom of the sea, but it was done deliberately, to keep it safe from the Wraith when they left."

"Wraith?" Ashley asked.

"Oh, just a race of aliens that wakes up every few thousand years to suck the life force out of you," Rodney said, again with quite a bit of snark.

"Sounds eerily familiar," Ashley said.

"Uh, what?" Rodney said. "Anyway, there were some other bad guys- the Aschen- who we were investigating and that's how we got here. They created a subspace distortion- a rip in space-time if you will- and we fell right for their trapped. They attacked the Daedalus, we engaged our hyperdrive inside the danger zone and ended up here, a year later in an alternate universe where there is no Stargate at all."

"So, this isn't your Earth?" Jane half-asked.

"Nope," Jack replied. "I assume it isn't yours, either?"

"Well, it could be, but the rest of the solar system sure as hell isn't. In the mid-22nd century, we found a cache of technology on Mars belonging to an extinct race known as the Protheans. That opened up a whole new world of possibilities, an entire tech base based on something we call the Mass Effect. Needless to say, it wasn't there."

"I guess that confirms it, then," Sam replied.

Jane nodded sagely. "We have to get back as soon as possible. In 2183, a rogue turian, Saren, nearly wiped out our galactic capital-"

"Ouch."

"That wasn't the worst part. He was bringing back an ancient race of sentient machine starships. The Reapers. We stopped him- just barely- but they're still coming."

"And nobody will even acknowledge their existence," Miranda said angrily. "People go about their daily lives ignorant of the approaching danger."

"Well, I guess we have that in common too," O'Neill said lightly. "The Stargate program is top-secret. Our Earth doesn't even know about it."

"What?" Ashley stammered, disgusted. "How can you keep that secret from your own people?"

Jack folded his arms. "What happened when your species discovered the... Mass Effect, what happened?"

Garrus was the first to answer. "Re-ignited tribal tensions, would have caused a war among us if the rest of the galaxy wasn't such a mess. Oh, you were asking the humans. Sorry."

"Civil unrest," Miranda answered coldly. "Upheaval in the scientific and religious communities. Political turmoil in every nation. A complete re-organization of all military forces. And we very nearly ended up the losing side in an interstellar war."

Commander Shepard explained her feelings. "I don't agree with you, but I understand why we did it. Now that we've got that over wi-"

Suddenly, there was a knocking on the front door. "What the hell?"

"Looks like we've got visitors," O'Neill said.

"We should pretend that there's nobody home," Jane suggested.

"Federal agents!" a male voice shouted from outside.

Jane sighed. "So much for that plan."

"We'll never get out clean," Kasumi noted, toying with her omni-tool.

Seconds later, the door came crashing down. Three men and a woman, all wearing NCIS jackets and carrying pistols raised, entered through the opening. They were greeted by a ring of guns surrounding them on all sides.

"Well, that`s not good," Tony commented wryly. Upon seeing the aliens, his expression of defeat turned to utter shock. "What the hell?"

"I suggest you holster your weapons," a redheaded woman in a heavy suit of armour ordered. They hesitated.

"I don't want any more people to get hurt," Jane Shepard continued. She lowered her pistol, a rather large weapon, a fraction of an inch.

"Do it," Gibbs ordered, sliding his own sidearm back in his holster.

"What's NCIS?" Tali asked.

"I think it's some kind of computer store," Rodney explained, completely wrongly.

"No, Navy cops," O'Neill explained.

"Is that... I've seen you before!" McGee exclaimed, facing the purple-suited alien. "You're-"

"Shut up, McGee," Gibbs ordered.

"Sorry, boss."

"What do you mean you've seen me before?" Tali asked, suspicious. "Shepard, I thought we were in an alternate reality."

"So did I," Jane agreed.

"You know, you've got me curious, too," John said. "How do you know who they are?"

McGee shot a glance at Gibbs, who nodded in response. "Tali'Zorah vas Neema- or is it Normandy? Quarian engineer, right?"

Mordin shook his head. "Knowledge impossible. Universe clearly distinct. In addition, temporally displaced by 174 years."

McGee smiled with glee (McGlee, Tony internally joked). "Mordin Solus. Professor Mordin Solus. You once killed a man with a pitchfork."

"Was Krogan, actually."

"How the hell do you know these people?" Gibbs asked.

"Well, I don't- well, not in real life. Have you ever heard of Mass Effect?"

"Nobody plays video games but you, McGeek!" Tony prodded.

Ziva elbowed him in the ribs and hissed in his ear, "Now is not the time to act like a joker!"

"It's fool, Ziva, and actually now is the best time to act like a fool!"

"Wait, video game?" Jane snapped. "Is this some kind of joke?"

"No!" McGee protested. "It's a series of games, actually, called Mass Effect. It's about Commander Shepard, saving the galaxy from a race of ancient-"

Jane's voice harmonized with McGee's. "-sentient starships known as the Reapers."

"Exactly," McGee proceeded to point out the characters he knew. "Tali and Mordin I already mentioned. Garrus, Kasumi, Miranda, Jacob, Legion, Ashley? Huh."

He paused, facing Jane again. "Funny thing is, I don't recognize you at all."

"Commander Shepard, Hero of the Citadel? Saviour of the galaxy? Punched a reporter in the face? Ring any bells?"

"Oh." McGee muttered something unintelligible about a female option. "Sorry about that."

"Hmm," Rodney muttered. "Well, this is extremely unlikely, but theoretically possible. The multi-world theory stated that-"

McGee cut him off. "Any reality you can think of and all the ones you can't exist in the multiverse-"

"And in this one, Commander Shepard and her crew exist as characters in a videogame," Carter finished.

"Hey! What about us?" Jack asked.

Tony was the one to answer this time. "Stargate. 1994, Kurt Russel, James Spader. Spawned a TV series or three that I never watched. Colonel Jack O'Neil, right?"

"General, actually. And that's two l's."

"Great, so we've established that either the universe just exploded or we walked in on a sci-fi convention," Gibbs summarized. "Now, are you going to let me investigate my dead Marine or not?"

There was an awkward silence. Garrus finally owned up. "Uh... you don't need to do any investigating. I shot him."

"You did what?" Gibbs demanded.

"He was under my command, acting under my orders," Jane quickly said before Garrus could say anything else. "The one responsible for the Marine's death is me."

"Just wait a minute," O'Neill said, stepping in. "I suggested that they land the Normandy here. So really, the blame all goes back to me."

"I suppose it would be too much to ask for you to come with us?"

* * *

><p>Leaning over towards Jane, Garrus whispered, "Why did you let them take us, again?"<p>

"Over time, Garrus, you learn to read people. Gibbs struck me as the type that wouldn't take no for an answer. Eventually, we would get to a point where bullets start flying. And I don't want to do any more damage."

"Noted, Commander."

Suddenly, Timothy McGee, in the passenger seat, turned around. It was immediately obvious that he was interested not in the rear passengers but the line of olive drab trucks headed the other direction. "Boss!"

The senior agent immediately recognized what was going on. He recklessly wrenched the car around and sped off in the opposite direction, toward the vehicles. "Call Tony and Ziva."

"Looks like someone noticed," O'Neill commented wryly.

McGee fumbled with the cell phone, then slammed it closed in a fit of rage. "No answer, someone's blocking the cell towers."

Upon seeing the barricade in front of them, Gibbs hammered on the brakes, sending them flying forward into their seat belts. A uniformed soldier- actually an airman- waved him to the side of the road.

Before the airman even made it to the side of the car, Gibbs had opened the window and was holding out his ID. "NCIS. What's going on?"

He shook his head. "I'm sorry, sir. You're going to have to turn around and head back."

"Do you want to be charged with interfering with a federal investigation?"

"Sir, there is currently a classified operation in this area. I advise that you turn around or _I_ will be forced to arrest _you_."

Angrily, Gibbs wrenched the car around and drove off, nearly running over the man in the process.

* * *

><p>"Looks like they've got us surrounded," Colonel Mitchell said to nobody in particular. "Machine guns, snipers, even tanks."<p>

Suddenly, the lights went out, and several different flashlights sprung into life. A voice, amplified by loudspeakers, delivered a rather stern message. "This is the United States Air Force. We greet our extraterrestrial visitors with kindness and respect. However, in the interest in the security of our nation and planet, we must ask that you leave your spacecraft unarmed and allow yourselves to be taken into custody. You will not be harmed."

"Do you buy that for a second?" Rodney asked Miranda.

"No," she replied, stepping away from him. "And stop looking at my arse."

"I wasn't-"

"Uh oh," Ashley Williams said from her position by the door. "Looks like about twenty of them, headed right for us. Looks like we're headed for a fight."

"We could make a run for it," Miranda suggested. "Twenty-first century weapons aren't that powerful."

"Yeah, you might be able to make it, but we won't," John told them.

"He's right," Jack confirmed. "We're basically wearing no armour, and we can't run _that_ fast."

"You're supposed to be part of the same military, right?" Tali suggested. "Maybe you could pass."

John shook his head. "No chance. Either they'll think we're shapeshifters and shoot us on sight, or find out we're fake and shoot us later."

"We should make a run for the Normandy," Miranda said.

"And leave them to die?" Ashley argued. Rifle already out, her fingers inched toward the trigger.

"Don't even think about it," Miranda hissed, flaring with the blue aura of biotics.

"Uh, are you forgetting that the soldiers are inching closer every second?" Rodney nervously reminded them.

"He's right. We need to go now."

"We're not going anywhere," Ashley spat.

"I agree with her," Tali sided. "We shouldn't leave our friends behind. You can run if you want, but I'm not leaving this house."

"Oh, yes you are," John said, a smile crossing his face. He raised the microphone of his radio to his face. "Colonel, beam us all aboard."

Five seconds later, the Special Forces team breached in through the doors, finding nothing but the bloody corpse of a Marine and a handgun in his lap.

* * *

><p>"Welcome aboard the Daedalus," Caldwell greeted as they materialized inside what seemed to be the CIC or cockpit. "I'm Colonel Steven Caldwell, commander of this ship."<p>

Mordin was the first to speak. "Teleportation. Theorized, but never done in practice. Thought to be impossible." He sucked in a mouthful of air. "Impressive."

"We've been able to repair some of the key systems, including the shields," Caldwell continued. "They've been activated and a bubble extended over both ships. It won't hold under any sort of bombardment, but it should keep intruders out."

He paused. "Where's General O'Neill?"

"Taken by a federal investigator, along with Commander Shepard and Garrus Vakarian," Carter stated. "We should find a better place to talk."

"I agree. There's a briefing room already set up. Follow me."

* * *

><p><em>Washington, DC<em>

Director Leon Vance stopped in his tracks as soon as he entered the conference room. As expected, Gibbs was there. What wasn't expected was the appearance of the "three key witnesses" he had brought in.

One of them was clearly an alien. The creature was taller than a human, with wide hips and a barrel-like chest, but a thin waste. It had three-fingered hands, and a long ridged fringe extending from a scaly face. Covering its body was a slightly damaged set of what seemed to be a type of armour, coloured bright blue. Thankfully, he didn't seem to have any weapons.

Beside him, sitting down, was a slightly more normal person. She was human, with short red hair and brilliant green eyes. What she wore, however, was far from normal. It was a full-body suit, again appearing to be armour, made up of dark grey plates with a mesh-like pattern visible on the surface. The joints between were covered in black fabric. Everything below her head was covered. She, too, did not have any visible weapons, but he got the distinct feeling that she wouldn't need any.

The third was an older man in what appeared to be fairly normal tactical gear, minus the weapons of course. His hair was grey, though he still looked strong and fit. Though he would probably stand out in a crowd, of the three he was the least remarkable.

"Bit of a sci-fi thing going on," Gibbs explained. "Don't worry."

"Right," the Director replied. "Can we talk in private."

They stepped outside the room, leaving the three alone with each other. The Director was the first to speak. "Gibbs, I have orders from very high up to turn over anything regarding the Preston case, including material witnesses."

"So?"

"You know as well as I do that I have to obey that order."

"Stall them. I have a case to investigate."

"Gibbs-"

"Don't give me any bullshit, Leon. Until I'm done with them, these witnesses stay right here."

"I was going to say good luck."

"Thank you, Director." Gibbs stepped back inside. "Now, tell me what the hell is going on?"


	3. Day Three

****I broke the story. I forgot to post the last day, and I am SO sorry. I did it extremely late at night (by my standards). All has been fixed now, and it will not happen again.

**Day 3:**

_December 22, 2011  
>NCIS Headquarters<br>Washington, DC_

"I've been nice to you so far," Gibbs said to the three visitors, entering the interrogation room with a tray of coffees in one hand. "But I want some answers."

"Nice?" Jane snorted. "You locked us in an evidence locker all night, with no food, no water, a cold floor and a bucket for a toilet."

"Sorry about that," Gibbs apologized sincerely. "A group of Air Force officers came in, demanding we hand you over. They just barged in and searched the place, saying it was a matter of national security. I couldn't risk them finding you."

"I guess the Air Force isn't as nice in this reality," O'Neill said lightly.

Gibbs nodded, then handed out the cups. "I hope you all like black coffee."

Garrus pushed his away. "No thanks. I'd rather live."

"It's just coffee," Jack whispered.

"Turians are a dextro race, like quarians and... nope, basically just us and quarians," Garrus explained. "We can't eat the same food as humans. At best, it'll go straight through with zero nutritional value. At worst, it'll trigger a fatal allergic reaction."

"I was afraid of that," Gibbs said, sighing. "You might be here a while."

"Eh, I'll live," Garrus replied, flaring his mandibles. It was the turian equivalent of a smile, but disgusted everyone else in the room except for Jane.

Finally, Gibbs pulled up a chair across from them and opened a file folder. "Let's get down to business, then. What happened last night."

Jane was the first to explain it. "Yesterday- no, the day before- we touched down beside the Daedalus after being sent into this universe by a malfunctioning Mass Relay. Myself, Garrus, and Lieutenant Ashley Williams left the ship to investigate and meet with the Daedalus crew. When we saw the man using a communication device, we started running toward him. He panicked and started shooting. Garrus took the shot, and that's all there is to it."

"Why'd you start running toward him?"

"We didn't want news getting out," Jane replied. "We were trying to minimize the disruption caused by our arrival."

"And you didn't think it understandable that Lieutenant Preston would panic?"

"He was shooting at us!" Garrus protested.

Gibbs snapped the folder shut. "There are only two possibilities here. One, you're telling the truth and really are from an alternate universe, and Garrus really is an alien. In that case, I can't really do anything. The other possibility is that a sci-fi party got a little crazy- or maybe just crazy enough- and resulted in the death of an honourably discharged Marine."

He leaned forward. "Guess which possibility I'm leaning towards?"

"You've got forensics, right?" Garrus replied. "The early twenty first century doesn't seem to be that crude. Prove it."

"All right. Come with me."

* * *

><p><em>USS Daedalus<br>Near Washington, DC_

After Tony had heard the most insane things in his life, the powers that be finally noticed him and Ziva. They were understandably separated from the Mass Whatever crew and stuck in a holding cell. The blonde lady- Sam- had insisted that they simply did not have a lot of space, and the brig was all that was free. Tony knew better. The door may have been left open, but there was still a guard outside. The message was clear.

Tony hadn't slept at all. His mind was still going over the possibilities. Maybe they were part of some government agency, like the Men In Black, although there were too many women for that. Maybe it was like Invasion of the Body Snatchers- they weren't really human. The most logical explanation, of course, was that they walked in on a sci-fi convention. The invasion of (as far as he could tell) real military forces and the sudden beam-up kind of blew that out of the water.

"Are you still thinking about the women, Tony?" Ziva asked, poking her head down from above. When he didn't answer, she continued. "Was it the Lieutenant?"

"Ash Williams? No, too rough and not very pretty. Plus, has the same name as Bruce Campbell's character in the Evil Dead movies. That kinda ruins the whole thing."

"Colonel Carter, then?"

"Too smart and McGeek like. Ponytail doesn't fit her, either."

"Vala?"

"There's something really off about her. Need I remind you that you've gone almost completely through the list?"

"Ah, I've got it. Miranda Lawson, yes?"

"While I do admit that she is probably the best of the bunch, I was not actually thinking about any of them."

"Not even a small part?"

"It's little bit, and no, I was mostly trying to figure out what the hell was going on before I was so rudely interrupted!"

"Mister DiNozzo? Ms David?" a man asked from outside. "Colonel Caldwell has requested that you report to the mess hall for the morning meal."

"Why didn't he just say, 'breakfast is ready'?" Tony asked. Behind him, Ziva removed the small backup pistol from under her pillow and fastened it to her ankle.

They followed the (armed) guard to the mess hall. On the way, Tony asked Ziva, "So, what do you think?"

"About what?"

He gestured around. "This."

"It seems rough, very utilitarian. A military vessel."

"Not the ship. Just... what's going on in general."

"In Mossad they train you to-"

"Be open to things you can't understand, ie the supernatural, ie aliens. You said that years ago."

"That was not what I was going to say. In Mossad, they say that when logic fails, assume that the most radical theory is correct. I don't think I got that across properly, did I?"

"No. You didn't."

"What I am saying is this. Given the current information, it is the best assumption that everyone really is telling the truth, and that this is all from some kind of alternate reality."

They were getting closer, he could smell it. Tony mentioned, "You seem to be taking this awfully well, all things considered. Don't answer that- Mossad training."

The guard opened the door, allowing them into the rather small eating area. Only one pair of adjacent seats was available. Tony ended up right beside Tali, with Ashley on the other side beside Ziva. Across from them sat what Tony thought of as the egghead trio- Mordin, Rodney, and Sam. Without a word, uniformed kitchen staff delivered hot, steaming plates of very recognizably human cuisine.

Most of them, Tony included, dug right in. Ziva inspected the chunks of pork and potato, then took small bites before deciding that it was safe to eat and starting to gulp it down. Tali simply pushed away her plate and continued to stare into what looked like a fairly conventional tablet computer. Ever the pragmatist, and having gone without dinner, Tony asked, "Are you going to eat that?"

"What?" She looked up. Her eyes seemed to glow purple, but that might have just been the full-face visor. "Oh, no, I can't eat that."

"Well, why-" Tony suppressed a grunt of pain as Ziva drove her elbow into his ribs.

Tali, however, seemed enthusiastic about explaining. "Centuries ago, my people were forced to leave our homeworld when the Geth, robots of our own creation, rose up and destroyed it. Ever since, we have lived on a ragtag fleet, drifting among the stars. Our immune systems were already weak, and the sterile environment of the fleet has only made it worse. Besides, humans are levo-protein, and quarians are dextro-protein. Our biologies are fundamentally incompatible."

"Wow," Tony was a bit taken aback. He changed the topic. "So, whatcha reading?"

"It's technical information on the Daedalus." Tali, an engineer by trade, was much more enthusiastic about the subject. "This ship is amazing! The technology is much more advanced than anything I've ever seen. Things we've only theorized about have been applied and are used every day. The transporters that brought us here are something we thought were impossible. And the engines are powerful enough to cross the entire galaxy in a matter of days!"

"You know, I should be impressed by that," Tony replied. "But I think all that technobabble just blew my mind."

He turned back to Ziva again and whispered, "It's real. And it scares the hell out of me."

"Me also, but try not to show it."

Right beside them, Ashley was fully engaged in a discussion about military equipment with Carter and the other Sheppard. "You mean you actually went into battle with _that_?"

"Yes," John replied flatly.

"Kevlar vest with dubiously effective insert. SMG as a primary weapon?"

"Yes," John replied again, just as flatly.

"For what is it? Fifteen years?"

"Yes!"

"And it never occured to anyone to develop anything better?"

The two colonels, one full and one half, shared a look.

"Tell me, Colonel Carter. How extensive are your augmentations?"

"Uh, I don't have any, apart from a few metal pins."

Ashley threw her arms into the air. "No augmentations! No armour! And yet you all survived and won. Man, that's incredible."

She looked down, and added in a darker tone. "Wish we could have beaten the odds like that."

Instantly realizing what she meant, Sam mentioned, "Well, we don't always. We've lost people. Some of them were pretty close friends of mine."

"Really?" She raised her glass, which was half-full of orange juice. "To friends lost, may we never forget. To Kaiden Alenko."

"Janet Fraiser."

"Aiden Ford."

Colonel Caldwell clinked his spoon against his plate. "May I have your attention, please?"

He waited for the lively conversation to die down. "As you know, both the Normandy and the Daedalus have been badly damaged and are unable to leave Earth."

Vala whispered to Daniel, "Well, since the life support of the Daedalus is broken, and the Normandy's engines are broken, couldn't we combine our engines with their life support and call it a day?"

Rodney overheard them, and said a tad too loudly, "That is the dumbest thing I've heard all day. Should I even bother explaining why that wouldn't work?"

With almost everyone glaring at him, he muttered a half-sincere apology and shut up. Caldwell continued. "We appear to be trapped in an alternate reality, which, though not hostile, seems to be unfriendly. Obviously, our eventual goal is to get home to our respective universes. The most immediate priority, however, is to minimize the impact on this one, something that we've all agreed to."

"To the crew of the Normandy: I apologize for forcing you to stay here overnight. The transporter system was unstable, and is now unusable. I must reinforce that it is critical for us to work together."

"Chief Zorah, Professor Solus, Colonel Carter and Doctor McKay, you already know this, but I will repeat it for the benefit of the crew. With the available resources, it will be impossible to repair either the Normandy or the Daedalus. Doctor, what do we need?"

"Three grams of platinum."

DiNozzo was the first to speak. "What, that's it? What's so hard about that?"

"That's three grams of platinum, specially machined and purified to at least ninety-nine point nine nine nine nine nine nine percent. Getting that is easier said than done."

"Yeah," Ashley agreed. "I mean, first we gotta get out of here. Then what are we going to do? Steal it?"

"That would be fun," Vala whispered.

"Definitely," Kasumi agreed, and high-fived her.

"We're still going to have to find some and get to it," Caldwell cautioned. "And there is the added problem of General O'Neill, Garrus Vakarian and Commander Shepard."

"What are you looking at me for?" Tony said. "It's not my fault."

"You are being paranoid, they are not looking at you!" Ziva whispered.

"Oh, look who's calling who paranoid now."

"I propose we break up into groups," Caldwell continued. "We have several distinct problems at hand."

"Agreed," Sam replied. "I'll go with Doctor McKay, Tali, and Mordin to the Normandy, since it seems to be in worse shape than the Daedalus, as well as more repairable without the platinum."

"I'm going to find the platinum," Vala said, rubbing her hands together. "Daniel, you're always with me. Kasumi, I know you want to be in on this too. Anyone else, well, the more the merrier."

Tony cleared his throat. "Well, since all of you seem to blame me-"

"They do not!"

"-for taking your people away, I guess I'm going to have to get them back."

Caldwell nodded. "Then it's settled. Let's do this, people. If all goes well, we'll be home by Christmas."

* * *

><p><em>NCIS Headquarters<br>Washington, DC_

Despite the professionalism of the occupants, Autopsy reminded Garrus of Omega too much for his liking. There was one man on a metal table, with his chest sliced open and pieces removed. An array of instruments, including an actual metal scalpel, were arrayed on a tray beside him. The pathologist, an elderly man in what looked like hospital clothing, looked up as they entered. He stripped off his gloves- at least he was wearing gloves- and strode over.

"Ah, Jethro. I was just about to- who are these people?"

"The witnesses, Duck."

"But of course." He had a slight accent, and both Jane and Garrus couldn't help but be reminded of the Normandy's doctor. General O'Neill thought he was slightly reminiscent of a different one, now deceased. The man stuck out his hand. "I'm Doctor Mallard, but you may call me Ducky if you wish."

Garrus was the last to take his hand. Immediately, Ducky noticed the three fingers. "I'm not from this planet," he explained. "You're going to prove it, right?"

"It is my job," he agreed, and started with a visual examination. He was stunned. "This is definitely real. No amount of makeup or plastic surgery could transform a person like this."

He then asked, "The jaw- if that is indeed what it is- may I ask what happened?"

"Gunship," Garrus replied, "I was lucky. Shepard and Tali were there, and they rushed me back to the Normandy. At the time, I was pretty reckless. It was right after my entire team of vigilantes had been betrayed and killed. Don't worry, I eventually found the bastard that did it."

He added sadly. "Turned out he didn't mean to betray us. In a way, he was betrayed as badly as everyone else."

Ducky then took an X-ray, leading Garrus to remark about not being able to have kids. Lastly, Ducky took a blood sample, which took some coaching from Garrus ("Vein. Right there, between the plates. Ow."). Instead of filling with red fluid, a purple-blue substance filled the needle. "Interesting."

Ducky picked up two more needles. "You as well, just in case."

"All right, doc," Jack replied, rolling up his sleeve. "Been through this too many times to count."

"So I have heard. Tell me, why did you originally join the-"

"SGC. Do you want the full, honest, answer?"

"Figuring out the truth is what I aspire to."

"Well, it was supposed to be a suicide mission. Go through the Stargate and never come back. At the time, I was going through some personal issues. I lost my son- to my own gun. The pain from that... well, it'll never go away. Sara and I divorced soon after."

"My god," Jane whispered under her breath. Beside her, Gibbs blinked, remembering when the lives of his wife and daughter had been taken by the Reynosa cartel.

"I'm sorry, General," the doctor said as he finished taking the blood sample. "And it is your turn, madam."

"Make this quick," she replied. Her entire body was covered in impenetrable plates, so she craned her neck and hoped Ducky would get the message.

He did. Sticking the needle in, he asked, "What about you? Tell me a little about yourself, Commander."

"What do you want to know? How I got into the Alliance? Slavers slaughtered my family and friends on Mindoir where I was born, and after they saved me, I joined the military a few years later. How I became a Spectre? Well, I was already a candidate, and the "Hero of Elysium" before Eden Prime, and after that the Council made me a Spectre so I could take down their rogue one. Then they hung me out to dry, I died and Cerberus brought me back. Then _I _hung _them_ out to dry, and that's pretty much my life in a nutshell. Oh, and I had my brains scrambled by a really old memory device which gave me prophetic visions of utter galactic anihilation."

"Hey, me too!" Jack exclaimed. "Well, without the prophetic visions."

"Count yourself lucky," Jane replied as the needle was removed from her neck.

A second later, McGee came in. "Hey, boss."

"What are you doing here?" Gibbs asked.

"Well, um..."

Gibbs took the needles from Ducky and placed them into the junior agent's hands. "Well, don't just stand there! Take them to Abby, along with these three."

That left him alone in the room with Ducky. "So, what do you think?"

"Well, Mister Vakarian is definitely not human, and though I find that disturbing I don't think that's what you want to know. He's not a murderer, Jethro. A bit misguided, perhaps, and very much brash, but he has the best of intentions. Though he has found some closure, Garrus blames himself for the death of his team. The outward personality is not hiding anything- that is the real Garrus so to speak.

"General O'Neill is also traumatized, and he, again, has also gotten over that to some degree. It has been a long time, and he has been through a lot of things since, some good, some bad. I did notice telltale signs of torture, some dating to before the supposed creation of the SGC in 1994 and some far newer. Although he may act like an imbecile, the general is very intelligent and competent underneath. It is merely a facade, and no doubt has caused many of his enemies to underestimate him.

"I know it may sound a bit cliche by now, but Commander Shepard also has her demons, and has also been through a great many hardships. For her, however, it is only beginning. She feels responsible for the fate of the entire galaxy, and understands that she must stop the Reapers. For better or for worse, however, she is not willing to do anything necessary to save the galaxy- she still retains morality, and that is the world of difference between her and Saren, if what McGee tells me is to be believed."

"Okay, I get it. Intergalactic space heroes."

"Well, I wouldn't use that terminology, but yes, Jethro. They are all good people, bound by duty and honour. None of them would have killed our poor Marine in cold blood. It was either a defensive action or an accident, and in either case absolves them of guilt by law, if not in their minds."

There was a long pause. "What is it, Ducky?"

"Jethro, I cannot help but wonder if this all real or not. I've seen a lot of things in my life, and yet I've never seen anything like what just happened. Alternate universes? Alien spaceships? A government conspiracy? Even the most firmly grounded man would be blown away."

"It's real," Gibbs assured him. "Don't worry about it too much. No matter how this turns out, it'll be over soon."

"I certainly hope so, Jethro."

* * *

><p>Abby, in her cheerful holiday mood, hugged. McGee was used to it, and hugged back lightly. Jack sort of stood there, raising an eyebrow at the strange behaviour. Jane frowned but didn't back away.<p>

The next thing Abby did puzzled everyone in the room. She knelt in front of Garrus and recited, "Welcome to Earth, Garrus Vakarian of Palaven. We hope you come in peace."

"Uh, we kind of didn't," Garrus said awkwardly. "When the humans and turians first met, there was a war. Millions died on both sides."

"Umm, don't do it again, okay?" Abby said awkwardly. She quickly stood up and changed topics. "Welcome to-" she spun and waved her arms- "the lab."

"Abby, I'm sure they've all seen labs before," McGee said gently.

"But this is my lab, and it's really well decorated!" Indeed, there were several trees, a hanging mistletoe, garlands and small trinkets everywhere.

"It's nice," Jane said.

"Thanks," Abby replied. "Oh, I should introduce myself. I'm Abigail Sciuto, and I run the lab at NCIS. You probably already know that."

"Abby-"

"This is so cool! I mean, I always knew there were aliens, but I never thought I'd meet one. And from an alternate universe that's a videogame in our own. That's pretty confusing, but pretty awesome, too."

"Abby!"

"Right, sorry," Abby turned around sharply and began hammering on the keyboard. "A five mile radius surrounding the crashed ships has been closed off, and nearby towns are being quietly evacuated. Officially, it's because of a suspected terror threat involving chemical weapons."

A satellite photograph appeared both on her monitor and the large display on the opposite wall. "Which one's the Normandy and which one's the Daedalus?"

"The nice looking one is mine, the Normandy," Jane replied with a hint of humour.

"Hey, don't diss the Daedalus," Jack shot back.

A printout of the photo appeared on a printer beside the computer, and Abby held it out along with a pen. "Can I have your autographs?"

"Abby!"

"What, McGee? How often does a real alien, a general who's been to other galaxies, and a famous space hero show up in this lab?"

"Well, you do have a point."

* * *

><p>Gibbs was in the elevator when his cell phone went off. After checking the caller ID and seeing that it was DiNozzo calling, he turned the switch on the control panel and stopped the elevator. "Gibbs."<p>

"Hey, boss, it's good to hear your voice," Tony said over the phone. His voice was slightly distorted, but the words were fairly easy to make out. "Listen, I don't know how much time we have so I'm going to make this quick. We- me and Ziva- are aboard the Daedalus, and no, they haven't done anything to hurt us. That's the good news.

"The bad news is that they need three grams of extremely pure platinum to leave Earth, and the army has basically completely surrounded us. We seem to be safe for the moment, but I don't know how long that's going to last.

"Thankfully, the humans appear to be really human and the aliens are... well, pretty human too. I know how crazy this sounds, boss, but I think it's all true. The alternate universes, everything. I know, you're probably going to think I'm insane-"

"I don't think you're insane, DiNozzo."

"Really, boss? That's great. We're working on a plan right now to get the platinum, switch our pople back and for these people to go home but-"

Suddenly, the call cut off. Only seconds later, Gibbs heard gunshots coming from above him. He jammed the elevator switch to the start position, but it still didn't power up. "Damn it!"

Upstairs in the bullpen, it was chaos. Through both entrances, a dozen heavily armed men in black tactical gear stormed the place. The opening shots were a threesome of tranquilizer darts, two of which hit Garrus in the neck. He collapsed to the ground, and two of the men checked his body while the rest advanced.

"Drop your weapons!" one of them yelled. It was clear that what they were saying was directed at the NCIS personnel, not Shepard or O'Neill. "You will not be harmed."

Both of them crouched behind desks, across from each other. Neither was armed, though Jane had her helmet on and barriers raised. Hoping that hand signals hadn't changed significantly in two hundred years, Jane motioned that she would provide covering fire to let the general run for it. He nodded quickly and gave a thumbs up.

Assuming that O'Neill knew what she was about to do, Jane jumped above the desk, right into one of the sweeping intruders. She grabbed the man's gun and wrenched it out of his hands, whacking him in the face even as he held down the trigger and put a burst uselessly into the ceiling. Jane whirled around, aiming the weapon at the soldiers and pulling the trigger. Despite the unfamiliarity of the weapon, at this range and with such a high concentration, she couldn't miss. One unlucky man took several rounds in the leg, and dropped to the ground screaming.

Unfortunately, they couldn't miss either. Halfway to the door, the General took a round in the leg. He crawled desperately for another few feet before a heavy foot stomped on his back. Behind him, Jane had run out of ammo. With bullets hammering her barriers to some effect and the rest of the commandos advancing right toward her, she ran. Jane used the stolen weapon as a club, smashing through the reinforced glass and rendering the weapon useless in the process. Jumping several stories, she hit the ground running and disappeared into the failing light.

* * *

><p>As soon as the elevator started working again, Gibbs bolted toward the Director's office. The blood splattered on the desks did not escape his notice. Darting past the frightened secretary, he barged right into the Director's office.<p>

"What the hell just happened?" Leroy Jethro Gibbs demanded.

"A team of United States Special Forces commandos took possession of the witnesses, with NCIS permission."

"You let them do that?"

"It was an Executive Order signed by the President himself. I had no choice in the matter."

"Do you have any idea what we're dealing with?"

The director stood up. "I know that's it's far above NCIS jurisdiction, a tightly classified matter of national security. I don't know any more than you do, _Special Agent_ Gibbs."

"You let a heavily armed team of commandos storm headquarters! Why?"

"There was concern that our guests would not have cooperated. As it turns out, the concern was well founded. They fought back."

"What about my team?" Gibbs roared. "Our fault or not, the people on those ships are going to blame us, and they're going to take it out on Tony and Ziva!"

"The Department of Homeland Security assures me that all efforts will be taken to bring back Agents DiNozzo and David safe and sound."

"You know we can't trust them!"

"Drop it, Gibbs! I couldn't change things any more than you can now."

Angrily, Gibbs stomped out of the room. Just outside, McGee was waiting for him. He began following the senior agent down the stairs. "Boss-"

"Spit it out, McGee!"

"One of them escaped," McGee pointed out the window. "Commander Shepard- she just jumped. When we looked outside, there was no sign of her."

"Find her, McGee!"

"Boss, I don't really have anything to go-"

"Find something to go on, then! The sooner we find Shepard, the sooner we can Ziva and DiNozzo back!"

"On it, boss!"


	4. Day Four

**Day Four:**

_December 23, 2011  
>Washington, DC<em>

Being a fugitive wasn't new for Shepard. No, she'd done that before. Being a fugitive nearly two hundred years in the past in an alternate universe was certainly different.

Jane stood out. Her armour was very distinctive compared to what everyone else was wearing. But she couldn't just take it off. Someone might find it, and if they found her, she would need it. Besides, it was pretty cold, and she wasn't wearing a whole lot underneath.

When the government vans had left, no doubt one of them with Garrus in it, Jane had given chase. Even she couldn't keep up with them, however, especially when trying to escape detection. By the time she gave up, however, she was pretty sure where they were going.

Getting there, however, would be a problem. She couldn't raise anyone at all with any of the communications systems built into her suit. Walking wasn't an option, especially when the sun was coming up and she would soon be completely exposed.

There were, however, a lot of ground cars sitting around. A few sat in a parking lot in front of a closed store. It was perfect. There was nobody to see, and she would get several tries.

Selecting a small blue vehicle that didn't look too banged up, Jane activated her omni-tool. A few seconds later, she deactivated it and chided herself for her ignorance. There was no way she could hack in- she wasn't even sure if the cars had any outside access at all. Her next attempt was to wrench the door open. That only succeeded in putting several very large dents in the door panel.

Finally, Jane gave up and simply whacked the window with her fist. Somewhat surprisingly, it completely shattered. She crawled inside, which was rather awkward as her shoulders barely fit through the opening.

Then she realized she had no idea how to drive the thing, or even start it.

* * *

><p><em>NCIS Headquarters<em>

"McGee, you've played this Mass Something game. What would Commander Shepard do?"

"Well, that depends," McGee replied, surprised but mostly just sleep-deprived. "Are we talking renegade, paragon-"

"Her," Gibbs answered simply, pointing at the broken window, which now had plastic on it.

"Well, I think she would try to find Garrus," McGee answered. "Just like we're trying to find Ziva and Tony."

Gibbs wandered over to the window and peered out of it, deep in thought. Turning around, he said, "Map."

"What?"

"Give me a map of the area, McGee!"

"Uh, sure, boss." A map of the immediate area appeared on the large plasma TV. Gibbs walked back over and examined it, tracing a route with his finger.

"You're trying to find out where they went," McGee guessed. Realizing what was going on, he began frantically typing at his computer. "Searching for the best routes to air force bases near Washington."

"Don't bother, McGee," Gibbs dismissed. "They're not taking them there- too busy. No, they probably set up a base camp where the ships are. That's where they're going."

"Then they probably headed for the highway, most likely along," McGee pointed it out, "This road."

Gibbs was already headed for the door. "Let's go."

* * *

><p><em>Normandy SR-2<em>

If you were to put the Normandy beside the Daedalus and ask someone to pick out which one was the more advanced ship given only a cursory look, almost everyone would pick the Normandy.

In stark contrast to the drab gray of the Daedalus, the Normandy's interior was finished in white and chrome. The lighting was far superior, bordering on too bright. Where the Daedalus had clunky control panels covered in switches and knobs, the Normandy had tactile holographic interfaces. A large holographic galaxy map dominated the CIC, in the same relative position as the glass plotting board on the Daedalus.

And yet, if one were to look below the surface, they would find the Daedalus far more advanced. The Normandy just couldn't compete in terms of firepower, speed, range, toughness, or even the stealth it had been built for. A helium-3 fusion reactor powered the mass-lightening FTL drive, which was many orders of magnitude slower than even low-grade hyperdrives. Antimatter-augmented fusion torches propelled the vessel at FTL speeds, and armament was largely of missiles, with a single mass driver down the centre of the ship. The shields were not true energy shields, but a repulsion field that absorbed only kinetic energy. And like every other ship of its kind, it had severe issues with dissipating heat.

A few things stood out, however. The entire hull was covered in an extremely dense plate, known to the galaxy as Silaris armour. In durability it was comparable to naquadah-carbon-trinium, although much heavier for the same protection. The Thanix Cannon was also interesting, a piece of Reaper technology that fired liquid metal at extremely high velocities. The Normandy also had very good point defence, utilizing pulsed solid-state lasers.

Although the chat with Tali had been very enlightening, the tech base was fundamentally incompatible, and there was nothing Carter could really do. Even connecting a naquadah generator to the Normandy would be difficult, and power wasn't the issue.

Rodney McKay had gone back to the Daedalus, though by the time he had agreed to do so basically everyone on the Normandy hated him. Daniel Jackson had come over, hoping to learn more about the diverse cultures of the alternate universe.

And diverse they were. The humans were much the same, but of course close to two hundred years ahead in social and political development, as well as having most of the advanced technology actually accessible for the average person. The asari, an all-female race, lived for an average of a thousand years and their culture reflected it. They tended to consider long-term consequences, and valued beauty and form. The salarians were quite the opposite, and although most did not talk as fast as Mordin, their short lifespans and fast metabolisms led them to become hasty in action and viewed as rash by the rest of the galaxy.

Tali's people, the quarians, had an interesting past. In a way, McKay had done a good job of summing it up. The other "dextro" race, the turians, were much different. They were a very militaristic civilization, with mandatory service for both genders and an overall culture geared toward military might. However, they were not warriors. Those were the krogan, beasts both physically and figuratively imposing. Big, dumb, and tough, though Daniel suspected there was more to it than that.

"You know, you're muttering," Tony DiNozzo said from the corner. He was utterly, completely bored above all else. He should have been excited as a kid in a candy store, but the only reason he came was so he wouldn't get separated from Ziva. There was nothing but technobabble and the normal kind of babble.

"Oh, sorry."

"How do you deal with it?"

"What?"

"Waking up one day and learning that there's a whole galaxy full of aliens and spaceships out there, beyond your wildest dreams."

"Well, I don't know if I'm the one to talk to about it. I actually theorized that the pyramids were landing pads for-"

"Yeah, I know. Stargate, I saw it and even vaguely remember it. The whole, 'we exist as fiction' thing makes this even weirder."

"It's an alternate reality. Quantum theory states that anything that can exist and some things that can't, exists in an alternate universe. Or something like that, I'm not really the one to ask. Though I have had firsthand experience."

"You know, a logical explanation doesn't really help," Tony said, standing up to stretch his legs.

"To be honest, you never really get used to it. After a while it become exciting and not just disturbing, but you never quite get over the surreality of it all."

At the same time, Sam Carter was not far away, discussing weapons and armour with Jacob, Ziva Lieutenant Williams, and Kasumi, though they didn't know about the latter. It wasn't exactly her field, but she found herself drawn to it.

The equipment really was a hundred and eighty years ahead of what they had. Weapons fired tiny grains of metal, chipped off of a solid block, at extremely fast velocities. Though they used Mass Effect fields for propulsion, Sam realized that electromagnetic or gravitic ones could work just as well. Every gun was completely computerized, with smartlinking sights and sometimes even automatic stabilization. She was impressed.

Ziva was also impressed, but for different reasons. The weapons carried on the Normandy were much more accurate and much more deadly than anything she had ever used. Bullet drop was nonexistant, and thanks to specially engineered rounds, the stopping power was much, much greater. Of course, that was counterbalanced by much more effective body armour.

Much more effective. Between the wearer and the bullets was a layer of reinforced ceramic plate and a system of kinetic barriers not unlike that equipping starships like the Normandy. Most hardsuits covered the entire body, providing protection even to the extremities. Yet the suits were light and comfortable enough to wear for an entire operation.

Suddenly, a call came in through the Normandy's loudspeakers. Colonel Caldwell's voice came on the line. "This is Colonel Caldwell of the Daedalus. I wish I wasn't the one to say this, but I bring unfortunate news. Last night, heavily armed commandos stormed NCIS headquarters, taking General O'Neill and Garrus Vakarian. The whereabouts of Commander Shepard are unknown at this time. Special Agent Gibbs has promised us his full cooperation to the best of his ability. That is all."

* * *

><p><em>Washington, DC<em>

McGee flipped the phone closed. "I think I should point out that the Air Force probably knows we made that call. In fact, they might have even heard everything I said."

"I know," Gibbs said, hammering the car around another corner.

"Boss, this could be considered treason. You know what they do to-"

"Look, McGee, if you don't want to rescue Ziva and Tony, you can get out any time."

McGee shut up. "Good. Now look for a blue car with a large dent in the driver's side door. A grocery store owner saw a woman matching Shepard's description drive off with her car."

"How do you know that, Boss?"

He merely tapped his head, keeping his other hand on the wheel as he headed onto the highway.

"I think I should mention something. Commander Shepard can't drive. Not only have controls changed significantly in the hundred and eighty years between us and them, but he- she's not a very good driver in her own time."

"Not very good?"

"Erratic, aggressive, drives too fast, drives on the wrong side of the-"

Suddenly, Gibbs hammered on the brakes. Looking up from his laptop, McGee immediately found out why. The line of traffic suddenly stopped, and they could here the muffled sounds of several impacts.

Gibbs left the car, pistol in hand, and McGee followed. They wove through the mess of cars, heading forward toward the crash sight. A blue car was visible, flipped over. Cautiously, they approached the flaming wreck.

"Don't. Move." Commander Shepard appeared behind the vehicle, submachine gun in hand. "Drop the guns."

"Why should we?" Gibbs asked, his own weapon up and aimed straight at Jane.

"Because I'm wearing heavy armour, with barriers. You aren't."

"Okay," Gibbs said calmly. Slowly and carefully, he placed his pistol on the ground. McGee did the same. "What do you want?"

"I want Garrus back."

The senior agent cocked his head. "I didn't have anything to do with that. Hell, I did everything in my power to prevent it."

The gun lowered a fraction of an inch. "Prove it."

"Agents David and DiNozzo," Gibbs said, half-answering the question. "You have them, I want them back. I can help you get your own people back, if you help me. But we're going to have to trust each other!"

Jane mulled it over for a moment, then tossed the weapon aside. "Okay, I'm willing to go with that."

On the way back to their own vehicle, McGee asked Gibbs, "That easy?"

"We don't leave our people behind. Neither does the Commander."

* * *

><p><em>Normandy SR-2<em>

"They're going to take it out on us," Tony said to Ziva, munching on a sandwich. "No matter what Gibbs says, they aren't going to listen."

"You are being paranoid, Tony."

"Paranoid? Excuse me, I have every right to be paranoid! I'm sitting aboard a spaceship from another Earth in the future, having just come aboard from another spaceship from yet another different Earth. So, basically, I've had my entire reality warped out of proportion and you expect me to act rational?"

"Tony, do you think I'm comfortable with this? I am not! But these people are good people, and they would not hurt us. We should act like friends, yes? That is the only way we will be able to get out of the situation."

Tony was about to reply when his cell phone rang. Puzzled, he answered it anyway. "Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo."

"McGee says they can track the call so I'm going to make this quick. Remember that time you were accidentally locked up in a container? Or when that guy wanted his brother back and we couldn't give it to him?"

It took a moment for Tony to figure out what Gibbs meant. "Uh, yeah, boss, I read you loud and clear."

"Good. Don't worry about the three of us. How are our alien friends treating you?"

"Well, apart from the constant anal probing, not too bad, actually." He added after, "I was just kidding about the anal probing."

"Good. See you soon. And remember, they're always closer than you think."

* * *

><p><em>USS Daedalus<em>

"What is it, McKay?" Caldwell asked the scientist, irritated.

"I've fixed the sensors-"

"I know that, Doctor."

"That's not the problem. In addition to a subspace distortion like the one that sent us here- which might actually be a good thing- I found an object heading toward Earth at very high speed."

"What kind of object are we talking about?"

"What? I don't know, but it's too fast to be natural. Some kind of starship, and I have a sinking feeling it's not friendly."

"How long?"

"If it maintains its current speed, a day or two."

"Just in time for Christmas," Caldwell mused. "Keep me informed, Doctor, and get working on combat systems. We may be in for a fight sooner than later."

"What, that's it?" McKay sputtered.

"Doctor, I've got more pressing concerns. We still don't have the materials necessary to repair the Daedalus, and General O'Neill is still in enemy hands. Until we get both of them, we're not going anywhere."

* * *

><p><em>SSV Normandy<em>

The armoury was crowded, with almost everyone of importance crammed inside. Spaced somewhat apart from everyone else was Ashley Williams, John Sheppard, and Samantha Carter. Tony DiNozzo was kind of off to the side.

"We've detected a ship heading into the system, and we may have to intercept it," Carter began, getting straight to business. "Whether it's our fault or not, this Earth is incapable of defending itself. If the intruder is hostile, we will make every attempt to destroy it. But that's not what we're here for."

"As you all know, General O'Neill along with Garrus Vakarian have been taken by the US government," Sheppard explained. "Tonight, in a couple of hours, we're going to get them back. I'm sure all of us would have liked to have avoided conflict, but we're running out of time, and we're running out of options."

It was DiNozzo's time to shine. "If I am interpreting the call Gibbs made correctly, they're being held very close, in the base camp the Air Force has established just outside. I think that Gibbs has also found Jane, and they're headed toward us."

John outlined his strategy. "We're going to use weapons and armour from the Normandy, which should be enough of a force multiplier to overcome the much larger defensive complement. We'll split into teams. I'll take the first one, Colonel Carter the second, Lieutenant Williams the third and Mizz Lawson the fourth."

"Hopefully, Commander Shepard will be able to provide some distraction from outside," Ashley added. "But we won't know that until she gets within range and we can contact her."

Sheppard nodded and continued. "Use non-lethal force wherever possible, but if you have to, kill. Lieutenant Williams and Mister Taylor will give you a crash course on your equipment and its capabilities. Two teams will storm the front and two will enter from above via puddle jumpers."

"Can't we just beam in?" Tali asked.

"Unfortunately, we lost beaming capability and haven't been able to restore it," Sam replied, shaking her head. "We're going to have to do this the old fashioned way."

"Because spaceships and powered armour is the old fashioned way," Tony muttered. Nobody seemed to notice.

"The objective is, of course, to retrieve General O'Neill and Garrus Vakarian," Sheppard continued. "As crazy as it may sound, the secondary objective is to retrieve a sufficient quantity of platinum to repair the ships. Hopefully, at the same time Commander Shepard will be able to infiltrate the perimeter and rendezvous with her crew."

"I must stress that the stakes are extremely high," Miranda insisted. "Doing some damage is inevitable, but we must keep it minimal. At the same time, safety of O'Neill and Vakarian is critical. We must retrieve them at all costs."

* * *

><p><em>Temporary Camp<em>

Garrus woke up with a pounding headache and soreness all over. He opened his eyes slowly, the world swimming and hazy. He saw people- humans- in hazmat suits, operating various equipment and examining several objects that he couldn't identify in his current state. Two of them stood over him. They looked at each other, then headed for the side of his bed. He followed their gaze.

A stand was set up, with a canister of liquid on it. A thin tube led from the canister downward, into his arm. Garrus tried to move, but he couldn't move anything more than a fraction of an inch. He was strapped down to a bed. They were studying him.

What might have been seconds or hours later, three men entered the building- or was it a tent? Two of them carried rifles of an antique design, the third had a pistol in a hip holster. They all wore camouflage uniforms. The two guards already there saluted, and the pistol-only man saluted back.

"You're awake," the man said. "We were worried that the sedative would have an adverse effect on your body, but luckily that doesn't seem to be the case."

Not the case? Did they have any idea about the effects of levo drugs on a dextro system? What Garrus actually passed out from was more akin to anaphylactic shock. He managed to squeak out, "What do you want?"

"A peaceful solution, and an opportunity to get to know your people," the man said. It was at that point that Garrus noticed the stars on his shoulders. That would make him... a general? "You've obviously demonstrated technology far beyond our own, judging by your interstellar capability and ability to mimic human beings."

"What?"

"Unfortunately, you also represent a threat to the United States of America and this fine planet in general. Because of that, we must be cautious." He smiled, a fake, insincere smile. "I hope you understand."

"Who are you?" Garrus asked.

"Brigadier General-" And that was all he could say, because at that moment, Friday became Saturday and all hell broke loose.


	5. Day Five

__**Day Five  
><strong>

_December 24, 2011 (Christmas Eve)  
>Outside Washington, DC<em>

The compound was made up largely of tents, with a smattering of trailers in the mix. Trucks and humvees were parked all around, and several defensive positions had been set up, for obvious reasons.

Teams three and four had approached the camp under the cover of darkness and tactical cloak. Meanwhile, the two cloaked jumpers had flown overhead. At exactly midnight, the assault began.

Canisters of tear gas, as well as flashbangs, were tossed from the puddle jumpers and by the ground teams. As the alarms began blaring and the confused occupants struggled to take up defensive positions, the assault began. The defenders found themselves being confronted from both sides, as well as within.

From within his command trailer, the general shouted into the telephone. "We're under attack, repeat under attack. Yes, the aliens are attacking us!"

He slammed down the phone and picked up another. "This is Brigadier General Keyes. The military is going to pacify the area. Fall back and commence a general evacuation."

* * *

><p>Outside, the sound of gunfire was drawing ever closer. The invaders had bypassed the first line of defence completely, and kept advancing. Their weapons weren't very effective, and the enemy seemed to know exactly what they were doing.<p>

Leading the charge from the west end of the base was Lieutenant Ashley Williams. She crouched behind a sandbag barrier that was intended to work in the opposite direction. In their way was another barrier, this one with a functioning machine gun.

She quickly peered over the top before a burst of .50 caliber rounds forced her head back down. "Damn it, they're wearing gasmasks now."

Concussive rounds hurt, but would hopefully not do any major damage. Her eyes flicked to the tactical map on her HUD. "Bravo, we're pinned down, can you do anything about it?"

"Negative," John replied. "We've got our own problems to deal with."

"Copy that," Ashley replied. She peered around. The lighting was mixed, a combination of pitch-black night, non-directional glow, muzzle flash, and a few hurriedly erected spotlights. The night-vision systems built into her helmet made the world clearly visible, though at the cost of severely reducing colour information. "Through the tent, follow me!"

The team crawled along, below the edge of the sandbags. The tent was closed off only with a simple fabric flap. "Stack up. Follow my lead."

She nodded to Ziva, who stood on the other side of the opening. The Israeli removed an M84 stun grenade (better known as a flashbang) from a pouch on her hip and pulled the pin before tossing it inside. A second later, there was an incredibly loud bang and blinding flash that was uncomfortable even through her armour.

The tent had been used as a mess tent, and there were only a few people remaining in it. They were on the ground, disoriented and in pain. Just before they had left, Williams had done a last-minute mod to her weapon. A Wraith stunner borrowed from the Daedalus was literally duct-taped to the bottom of her rifle, below the barrel, and used as a foregrip. At point-blank range, it was impossible to miss, and she hit two of the men with stun bursts just to be sure. Behind her, Vala Mal Doran fired her zat into one of the tables, knocking out two men at once. Williams motioned to the flap on the other end of the tent.

"A dozen of them, still focused on where we were," Ziva reported, peering through the flap. "Hold on. Two of them are coming to investigate."

"Take care of them," Williams ordered from beside her. As soon as the first man came in, Ziva grabbed his gun and pulled it from his arms, then knocked him out with a precision strike to the back of the neck. The other man found himself receiving the butt end of Tali's shotgun to his face.

They followed the Lieutenant out, moving towards the entrenched position. One of the airmen noticed them approaching, and began firing. Ziva felt the rounds impact her shields, and instinctively pulled the trigger. It was the first time lethal rounds were fired, but not the last.

"All teams, check in," Carter ordered over the communication link.

"Bravo, we're still working on our section but there's no sign of Garrus or O'Neill so far. Resistance is light."

"Charlie," Ashley reported. She squeezed the trigger of the stunner repeatedly, taking down several of the defenders. "We've run into heavy resistance and are behind on our area. Trying to catch up as we speak."

"Delta, proceeding as planned. No luck so far."

"Affirmative. Continue on."

Williams and her team were now in a courtyard of sorts, with three tents and a trailer arranged nicely around them. No doubt they were just full of surprises. "We'll have to do this one by one. Breach and clear, we do this quick and careful."

* * *

><p>"What the hell is going on?" Agent Gibbs asked, pulling up to the temporary roadblock that had been set up. He could hear the gunfire, the explosions, and even the alarm.<p>

"Sir, you really can't be here right now," the airman said nevously through the open window. It did not escape Gibbs' notice that the weapon was loaded and the safety was off.

"And why the hell not?" a female voice asked from behind him. The surprised guard turned around in time to take a fist to the face, smashing his nose to pieces. Commander Shepard ripped the rifle out of his hands and flipped it around, putting a burst through his chest at point-blank range. The other two guards raised their own weapons and fired off a few ineffectual shots before she dispatched them, too.

Gibbs got out of the car, and McGee followed his lead. The Commander immediately noticed them. "What are you doing?"

"We're not going to let you go alone," the senior agent replied. "You might also want to grab his magazines."

Jane held up a finger for silence as she picked the ammunition off of the dead airmen. "Well, if you were wondering what the commotion is about, it looks like our people are raiding the base."

She began to trot off from the roadblock to the base proper. The two NCIS agents struggled to keep up, even though she wasn't anywhere close to full speed. Suddenly, she stopped. "You do realize what they're going to do if they catch you, right?"

Gibbs nodded. "We'll be considered traitors, and either executed immediately or incarcerated in Guantanamo Bay. That is, if they don't just quietly disappear us at night. I'm aware of the risks, Commander. I want my people back."

"Okay, fine," Jane replied. "Stay close, and stay behind me. I am in command, and if you cross me, I will kill you."

"Got it," Gibbs replied, drawing his pistol. McGee did the same, though he was much less confident about it.

The entrance proper was a mess, with the defensive complement confused as to which side they were supposed to defend. With the NCIS agents in tow, Jane crept around the side, then hosed the position with her rifle at close range. When the bolt clicked back on an empty magazine, she quickly hammered in a new one and resumed firing.

Or tried to. She smacked the weapon on the side to no effect. Meanwhile, the remaining guards had figured out where she was and opened fire. Jane ducked around the side of sandbagged area and yelled at Gibbs, "I think it's broken!"

"You have to cock it!" the former Marine yelled. "Handle on the back of the receiver, pull it back."

It took Jane a moment to find the protrusion in question and yank it back. She stood up with the weapon in hand. Ignoring the ineffective rounds that impacted her shields, she took out each of the three airmen with an awkward and long burst. The sights were crude and she was finding it very difficult to aim.

Another group of men came running towards them. The two NCIS agents opened fire first, though their pistols were of limited effectiveness at range. Shepard held down the trigger on her rifle, aiming at the newcomers as best as possible.

One was left alive when the magazine was empty, and she changed it much faster this time. Another group came bolting out of a trailer, but before she could do anything, blue bolts of energy knocked them to the ground.

A group of four men, dressed in armour similar to Shepard's, rounded the corner. Though they came with a strange array of weapons at the ready, they relaxed upon seeing them. One of them came forward to Gibbs. "Hey, boss. Probie."

"DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked, surprised.

"That's right, boss. I'm a Space Marine, a Starship Trooper." He continued, briefly explaining what happened.

Sheppard nodded his head toward the Commander. "Shepard."

Shepard nodded her head toward the Colonel. "Sheppard."

"Wrex," McGee whispered under his breath.

A female figure suddenly appeared behind them. "You know, Shep," Kasumi said, "I'd love to stay and chat, but I think we have more important things to do."

"Yeah," Jane agreed. "Have you had any luck finding Garrus or General O'Neill yet?"

"Not yet," John replied. He pointed to a cluster of trailers not far away from them. "That's all that's left in our zone, but a few of the other teams are still searching pretty intensively."

They approached the trailers carefully, expecting heavy resistance. For better or for worse, they found them abandoned. There was nobody home. Everyone was gone, and most of the equipment looked like it had been hurriedly smashed.

"No dice," John said sadly. Beside him, Kasumi was collecting a handful of trinkets from a safe that had been left unlocked in the confusion. As she stuck the last one, a heavy silver coin, into a pouch on her waist, a nearby explosion rocked the trailer and sent her to the ground.

* * *

><p>Miranda Lawson motioned to the entrance of the trailer. Legion and Teyla Emmagan stood behind her, and Colonel Mitchell stood on the other side. As soon as they were ready, she kicked down the thin door and burst in.<p>

There were two armed guards, who she shot with lethal rounds. There was no time to piss around with non-lethal weapons, in her opinion. Tied to a chair was a third man.

General O'Neill immediately recognized the Cerberus-designed armour. "Hey, Miranda, do you mind untying me?"

Colonel Mitchell was actually the one to release him. As he cut through the rope with a knife, he said, "Apparently she does, but I don't, sir."

Jack examined the two members of the team he knew. "You look... different."

"Haircut, sir," Mitchell joked. He wasn't sure if the General was making a remark about the armour or if he had been drugged. The man certainly looked beat up.

Suddenly, there was an explosion not far away, and the trailer shook with the impact. General O'Neill, who was just starting to get up, was thrown back to the ground.

* * *

><p>Colonel Carter unleashed a burst from her Shuriken SMG into the guard that burst from the tent in front of her. At that range, the results were rather unpleasant. "Into the tent, move!"<p>

Weapon in front, she led her team into the tent. It looked like a medical tent, filled with beds and the right kind of equipment. Inside were a trio of armed guards, a doctor, and a pair of nurses. The guards tried to fight, and one of them died for it, the other two merely being knocked out. The doctor and nurses raised their arms in surrender. Ronon shot them anyway, though his weapon was set on stun.

"Garrus," Sam breathed, noticing the turian lying on a stretcher. He was secured with tough leather straps, and it was obvious that they had been rather unpleasant to him. He was naked, and the sheets were dyed blue with blood.

"What the hell did they do to him?" Jacob snarled, helping Sam undo the restraints. When they pulled him away, Garrus muttered something unintelligible. "Mordin!"

The salarian quickly scanned Garrus with his omni-tool. "Injected with biologically incompatible substances. Allergic reaction caused delirium, suppressed metabolism, extreme pain. Bleeding likely caused by physical trauma, possible dissection or retrieval of tissue samples. Turian physiology resilient. Will survive."

That's good to hear," Jacob said, a little bit relieved.

"Ronon, help Mister Taylor carry him," Sam ordered. The tent shook and threatened to collapse on top of them when an explosion went off nearby.

"What the hell is that?" Commander Shepard asked, rushing out of the dubiously stable trailer. Switching to infrared, she noticed a large missile in the sky. She looked around, and noticed many more coming over the horizon.

"This is the Daedalus," Colonel Caldwell said over the communications net. "We're detecting approximately two dozen Tomahawk cruise missiles inbound to your position. Recommend you exfil immediately."

"Can you take them down?" Carter asked.

"Negative, our targeting systems won't track them and the Normandy is literally facing the wrong way."

"Affirmative. Everyone head for the centre of the base! Jumpers, meet us there and be aware that the landing zone will be hot!"

"Roger that!" John shouted. "Follow me, let's go!"

It was a mad dash for the jumpers. Fortunately, there was no resistance, since everyone had either been killed, incapacitated, or run away. Unfortunately, there were missiles dropping from the sky and wrecking the base as they wove their way through it. Halfway there, they met up with Ashley Williams' team.

"Commander!" she said as they ran. "Glad you could make it."

"You know I wouldn't-" Jane was cut off by a nearby explosion that threw them all to the ground. They scrambled to their feet and kept running, with a renewed sense of urgency. Eleven in all, they scrambled into the small interior of the puddle jumper.

"Bravo and Delta are aboard Jumper One!" John Sheppard reported.

"Roger that, Charlie is aboard Two but we are still en route!" Colonel Carter's harried voice replied.

Noticing the team slowly approaching, Jane ran out of the jumper. A Tomahawk hit mere metres away, slamming her into the burning wreckage of a trailer. She picked herself up and kept running, rapidly closing the gap between her and Alpha team.

"I'll take him!" she said, relieving the two fatigued men of their load. Turians were rather heavy, and Garrus was no exception. Awkwardly, she slung Garrus across her shoulders.

"Knew you would come for me, Shepard," Garrus muttered as they dashed back to the jumpers. Missiles were still raining from the sky, and as they piled into Jumper Two, one hit way too close for comfort.

"Go!" Jane shouted unnecessarily as the ship lifted off. They climbed quickly to get above the explosions, travelling in a steep arc toward the Daedalus. The bubble shield dropped momentarily to let them back in, then came up just in time to intercept the first missile that was aimed for the ship.

* * *

><p><em>USS Daedalus<em>

All three teams gathered in the mess hall several hours later. Some of them still wore what they had worn during the assault, most of them of the Normandy. The floor rocked gently below them as another Tomahawk exploded against their shields.

"Let me guess," Tony DiNozzo said. "Good news and bad news."

"You're correct. Using platinum purified from several coins-"

"Those coins would have been worth a lot," Kasumi said sadly. "They're very rare."

Beside her, Vala said, "I feel your pain."

"-the Daedalus should be able to fly under an hour from now."

"One and a half for the Normandy," Tali added.

"Well, that's good," Rodney said. "If they keep up this bombardment, our shields would eventually fail."

"Death of a thousand cuts," DiNozzo muttered.

"The bad news is that the object Doctor McKay detected is still en route to Earth."

"That's right," Rodney said smugly. "It'll be here tonight."

"So what's the plan?" several people asked at once.

"Our first priority is to reach orbit," General O'Neill said, taking over the discussion. "Once we're out of range of Earth's sensors, we can conduct further repairs. We'll make contact with our mysterious visitor, and one way or another convince them to leave."

"What if they're supposed to visit Earth?" Gibbs asked.

"Then we'd be doing more harm than good," O'Neill admitted. "I don't want that to happen, and we'll try to avoid it. Their intentions should be pretty obvious pretty quick."

"And after that?"

"Well, I'm still running the numbers," Rodney explained. "But if I'm right- and I think I am- we should be able to travel back through the dimensional rift by simply engaging our respective forms of FTL."

"And where does that leave us?" Ziva asked.

"We should have the Asgard transporters fixed by the time we leave," Carter reassured them. "You'll be beamed down back to NCIS headquarters."

"Are you going to wipe our minds?" Tony asked. "Use a neuralizer like the Men In Black?"

"No," Jack O'Neill replied. "We won't go that far. However, it should go without saying that you can never tell anyone about what happened during the past few days. Not the government, not your friends, not the media. You shouldn't even talk about it with each other."

"I understand," Gibbs acknowledged. "We were coerced by aliens, briefly abducted and then left back on Earth for reasons unknown."

Just then, Garrus burst in through the door. "What did I miss?"

Nobody was able to answer him, as a rather irate Doctor Chakwas was right on his heels. "Garrus! You aren't ready for duty yet! I haven't cleared you!"

She turned to Commander Shepard, "Commander, maybe you can talk some reason into him."

"How do you feel, Garrus?" Jane asked.

"Like my head's been pounded in and my body is on fire. But don't worry, Shepard. I've had worse."

"You should be in a hospital bed!" Chakwas argued.

Jane smiled. "It's good to have you back, Garrus."

She turned to the doctor. "Doctor, I assure you that Garrus will not take part in any strenuous activity and will return to the Normandy's infirmary as soon as possible. Will that be acceptable."

"No, but it's better than nothing. Thank you, Commander."

Garrus sat down beside Shepard, and Chakwas sat down beside him. Producing a large, exquisite bottle, she added, "I suppose that now would be as good a time as any."

"For what?" Vala asked.

"Have any of you had Serrice Ice Brandy before?" Jane asked. "Well, then, you're in for a treat."

As if by magic, a set of glasses was produced, and the Commander carefully cracked the top and poured everyone (with the exception of Garrus and Tali) a shot. She raised her glass into the air. "To the future."

"To the future," the room echoed, and the shots were thrown back.

* * *

><p><em>USS Arleigh Burke<em>

It was a little-known fact that every vessel capable of carrying it was equipped with at least one Tomahawk TLAM-A nuclear cruise missile. In fact, it was top secret. Only the commander of each ship knew about it. And without direct authorization from the Pentagon, the missile would fail soon after launch and plunge into the ocean- a dud.

Captain Jay Georges crumpled the orders up in his hand. God, he never thought he would be the one to give the order. And on their own soil! He didn't know what the consequences would be, but couldn't imagine them as anything less than horrific. But he had his orders, and he didn't question them.

"Lieutenant, can you fire a specific missile tube?" he asked the weapons officer, or "Weps". He already knew the answer, but that was just Jay's style of command.

"Why yes, sir, of course," the man replied.

"Good. Switch to Cell Ninety, please. Same coordinates."

"Yes, sir," the officer replied, flipping the necessary switches. "May I ask why, sir?"

"Sorry, but it's classified. In fact, forget I ever asked you this."

"I understand, sir."

"Good."

As the Lieutenant was making final preparations to fire, the radar operator suddenly shouted. "Sir, new contacts on the scope! It looks like they're taking off!"

"What?" Jay sputtered. Immediately, he sprang into action. "Abort the launch! And get me a line to the Pentagon."

There was a chorus of "Yes, sir"s, though nobody knew what was really going on. Jay knew that he had either just made or broken his career, in the space of less than a minute.

Maybe it was time to retire anyway.

* * *

><p><em>USS Daedalus<em>

At a fair distance from Earth, the planet that was so close to home yet not quite the same appeared as a small blue-white ball. It looked tiny at the distance, far too small a world for what it contained. It felt like such a massive place when you were on it, but once you left, you really got to see the scale. Though those exact thoughts had passed through the minds of the crew many times before, it was a first for their NCIS guests.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Caldwell said to them. "It certainly gives you a sense of perspective."

He turned more businesslike. "I apologize that we weren't able to drop you off, but we're still having trouble with our transporters."

The ship turned, revealing a much more sinister shape. Colonel Steven Caldwell sat back down in his chair and activated the communications system. "It now appears that we are going to be in for a fight. We've been able to repair the Daedalus to a decent state of combat readiness, the jury is still out on how much damage we'll really be able to do."

_Normandy SR-2_

"The stakes are high," Commander Jane Shepard explained. "The Normandy and the Daedalus are literally the only thing between them and Earth. It may not be our Earth, but that doesn't mean it's not our job to help. That would make us selfish, cruel freeloaders. No better than slavers, pirates... or Reapers."

_USS Daedalus_

"In fact, we may have been responsible for bringing them here through the same rift that we came through. Perhaps it is fate that today is Christmas day. Though the people of this Earth may never be aware of it, their continued freedom is our gift to them."

_Normandy SR-2_

"I have faith in you- all of you. You are the best of the best, from many different places. That diversity is our strength. We will face our enemies with courage, determination, and all the might we can bring against them. It all comes down to this moment. We will win or lose here, and the fate of an entire planet- maybe even an entire race- depends on it."

_USS Daedalus_

General O'Neill finished it off for the two ship commanders. "Let's give 'em hell."


	6. Day Six

****And now, the conclusion.

**Day Six:**

_December 25, 2011 (Christmas Day)  
>USS Daedalus<em>

"Receiving a transmission, all frequencies," Major Marks reported.

"Put it on," Caldwell ordered, though he already knew what the cube-shaped craft had to say.

"We are the Borg. Lower your shields and surrender your ships. We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Your culture will adapt to service us. Resistance is futile."

"_A Borg Cube?" McGee had said, only a few minutes prior._

"_Yeah, really?" DiNozzo had added. "I was expecting something not quite so cliche."_

"Sound battle stations," Caldwell ordered. "Radio the Normandy. Tell them we're going in."

As an afterthought, he added, "Doctor McKay, how long will it take to get the beaming systems back online?"

"What? Now? Why?"

"Plan B," O'Neill answered. "So we can ram a big nuke up their-"

"Okay, okay, fine," Rodney replied, leaving the bridge. "I'll try to fix it, but no guarantees."

"Open fire, all batteries," Caldwell ordered, and the battle for Earth began.

_Normandy SR-2_

"Joker, take us in!" Commander Shepard ordered. As barrages of missiles flew from the Daedalus alongside, the Normandy accelerated, vectoring in towards the massive cubical warship. A green beam of light lanced toward them, but at the last minute the ship snapped to the right, narrowly avoiding it. Disruptor torpedos streaked from the Normandy's launchers, impacting the unshielded hull and ripping into it with brutal gravitational shearing. However, the Cube was a truly massive vessel, three kilometers across each side. It would not be easy to destroy.

The Cube wouldn't just take the abuse, either. Realizing that the tractor beams wouldn't be able to lock onto the rapidly-manoeuvring ships, it switched to cutting beams. Projected from emitters arrayed around the hull of the beast, they lanced toward the much smaller ships.

One of the beams grazed the hull of the Normandy, the energy completely bypassing the shields and ripping into the Silaris armour. The ship shuddered under the impact, but it thankfully did not do too much damage. At the same time, groups of drones were beamed aboard to assimilate the crew.

"We've been boarded!" Shepard shouted. Four drones had been transported into the midst of the CIC. They had been warned about it, and they were ready. She raised her M-8 Avenger assault rifle to her armoured shoulder. Opposite to her own barriers, Borg drone shielding was useless against kinetic impacts. The accelerator based weapons ripped the drones to pieces in a matter of seconds.

"EDI, what's your status?" She asked as more drones appeared in their midst. The gun thumped against her soldier as she took down a drone with a burst of tiny slugs.

"The Borg are attempting to hack our systems. However, without prior knowledge of our systems, and with both active and passive safeguards in place, they are failing to make progress."

"Good to hear it," Jane said, taking down another drone. "Joker, take us in close and hit 'em with the Thanix cannon."

"On it," the cocky pilot replied. The Normandy spun about its axis and plunged toward the massive starship. On the underside of the frigate, a gun mount extended through a door and locked into place. A bright blue beam lanced into the Cube, ripping a hole through the corner. At the same time, a pair of cutting beams slammed into the Normandy.

Jane was thrown against the bulkhead. Emergency barriers sprung up against a hole where there were once gunnery stations, and smoke poured from damaged equipment. The Borg seized this advantage, sending another wave of drones.

"Status report!" Jane ordered.

"Hull breaches on CIC and crew quarters," Tali reported. "One of our engines is offline and heat levels have climbed. Kinetic barriers are damaged and reactor output is down to eighty percent."

"Keep on them!" As she gave the order, Jane smashed a drone's head in with her rifle and blew another to pieces at point blank. "We're not going down without a fight."

_USS Daedalus_

"Shields down to twenty percent!" Marks reported. Behind him, a small explosion sent a woman to the ground screaming. "Ventral railgun is out of action!"

"Bring us in close, they're going to keep intercepting our missiles otherwise," Caldwell ordered. With the shields at reduced strength, it was a risk and he knew it. "Fire Asgard weapons at will."

"Yes sir!" With Major Marks at the controls, the Daedalus moved in, toward a face of the cube adjacent to that of the Normandy.

Behind him, Lindsay Novak reminded the commander, "Uh, sir, I should mention that the Asgard weapons are still not fully repaired. They might, um, explode."

"I'm aware of that, Doctor," Caldwell acknowledged. "That's a risk I'm willing to take."

"We're getting our asses kicked," Mitchell said. "It's time to go all in."

More bright green beams hammered against their shields, which flared with the impact. Railguns on the Daedalus ripped into the Cube, causing an impressive chain of impacts but no real damage. Two nuclear missiles with Mark Eight tactical warheads streaked from VLS tubes on the top of the Daedalus. One of them was annihilated by a cutting beam. The other impacted the Borg vessel.

The flash was blinding, sufficient to "zorch" or soft-kill unprotected sensors and burn the retinas of anyone looking straight at it. The massive detonation vaporized a good chunk of the Cube and trashed an even larger area around it. Because of the sheer size of the ship, however, it was still only a flesh wound.

Almost at the same time, the two ships fired on each other. A pair of massively powerful Asgard plasma beams ripped burnt holes right through the Cube. Four cutting beams hammered into the shields of the Daedalus, straining them to their limits.

"Shields are down to ten percent! Sublight engines are offline, Asgard beams are out of commission." A thicker beam lanced toward the Daedalus, locking it to the Cube. "They've locked onto us with a tractor beam."

"McKay, I need that transporter!"

_Normandy SR-2_

"Hit them again, Joker!" Shepard shouted. The pilot needed no further bidding. As they accelerated back toward the Cube. Noticing the Daedalus on the tactical display, she added, "Take us around. Hit the tractor beam emitter!"

The Normandy pivoted around, narrowly avoiding one of the green beams of death. Disruptor torpedoes hammered the behemoth as the Normandy rounded the corner. As Joker brought the Thanix Cannon to bear, a cutting beam ripped into the top of the Normandy.

Jane was thrown off her feet. A drone materialized almost directly on top of her. As the drone attempted to inject her with nanoprobes to no avail, she drew her Carnifex hand cannon and fired five shots through the drone's stomach.

"Thanix Cannon is offline," EDI reported calmly.

"EDI, compute a boarding vector," Jane ordered, eliminating another drone with her pistol.

"Commander, a collision with the hostile vessel would result in heavy damage to the Normandy, most likely rendering it incapable of flight."

"I know, EDI. We may not have a choice."

_USS Daedalus_

With no capability to evade, cutting beams hammered the Daedalus without relent. "Shields are failing," Marks reported as another lance of green energy impacted the ship."

"Prepare to be boarded," Caldwell ordered. Near the back of the cramped bridge, several members of SG-1 and AR-1 loaded their weapons. "McKay, I need that transporter!"

"Yes!" the scientist replied triumphantly. "It's online, what do you want me to do with it?"

"Ram a big nuke up their ass!" General O'Neill replied for him.

_Borg Cube_

A silver device, about the size of a person lying down, materialized among the labyrinth interior of the ship. With a non-emotional fascination similar to curiosity, several drones began to scan the device. Fascination turned to alarm, or something similar to it.

Seconds later, the device detonated. From the unprotected interior, the explosion ripped through the Cube's vital systems. Within seconds, the blast had reached the warp core and breached its containment.

_USS Daedalus_

"Get us clear, best possible speed," Caldwell ordered. The Cube began to break up, before it was blown apart in a massive explosion. The occupants of the ship were hammered forward as the blast caught up with the Daedalus.

_Normandy SR-2_

"Joker, get us the hell out of here!" Jane ordered. The Normandy spun around and accelerated away from the blast. They didn't quite make it out. Several people were tossed to the deck or against bulkheads as it caught up to them.

_USS Daedalus_

"I think we're clear, sir," Major Marks reported. "Borg Cube appears to be completely obliterated."

The Colonel nodded. "Good job, people. Patch me into the Normandy."

Marks nodded, and he continued. "Normandy, what's your status?"

There was a burst of static, and then Shepard's voice came through. "We got a little beat up, but we made it. Is the wreckage going to be a problem?"

"It shouldn't be, we're pretty far out from Earth," Caldwell replied. "Thanks for the assist, Commander."

"You're welcome." She paused. "As much as I'd like to get home, we're going to need to do some final repairs. The Normandy took a beating... again."

"We did too, Commander," Caldwell replied. "There are still a few other things we need to take care of."

* * *

><p><em>NCIS Headquarters, Washington DC<em>

In a flash of light, the NCIS team suddenly appeared in the elevator, beside the sole occupant. Director Leon Vance turned to Gibbs, who sipped a coffee he had come in with. "I'm not even going to ask."

"Pretty sure I'm not even allowed to answer," Gibbs replied.

Vance shut off the elevator. "I think we need to go over that, too. What the hell happened?"

"The aliens abducted us," Gibbs answered. "Did some experiments, then sent us back for some reason. I don't really remember much of it."

"They sent you back, with everything you had before, plus a coffee?" Vance asked incredulously.

"I don't understand aliens. Hell, I barely understand people."

"And is that your official statement?" Gibbs nodded. "All right, I'll pass it along. I should also mention something else."

He didn't wait for a response. "The government understandably wants to keep this on the down-low. If anyone breathes a word of what really happened, you will be punished to the full extent of the law."

Leon added, "And probably past it," as he turned the elevator back on.

When the doors opened, he added, "Oh, and, merry Christmas."

The team entered the bullpen, heading back to their respective desks. DiNozzo propped his feet up on the table. "Boy, it's good to be home. Especially after what happened."

He turned the plasma on. It was tuned into the news channel, and the story that came up was rather interesting.

"_Meteorites, shooting stars, or something else entirely? At approximately two AM eastern last night, a series of bright flashes were visible in the night sky, culminating in a single bright flash several minutes after the phenomenon began. Though scientists are still divided on what disturbed the night sky, some are formulating their own theories."_

The footage of the flashes, incredibly bright, eerily green, and oddly distant when viewed from Earth, disappeared, replaced with that of a small child. _"It's Santa Claus!"_

"_Well, there you have it. We'll be following this story in the hours to come, so stay tuned."_

"You were there, weren't you?" the Director asked. "Don't tell anyone."

"Well, I don't think that was the worst Christmas ever," Tony muttered.

Ziva sat on his desk. "How could you have a worse Christmas?"

"It wasn't really that bad," Tony replied. "Kind of neat, actually. Every year, there's the parties, and the presents, and the lights and decorations."

He paused dramatically. "It's not every year that you deal with parallel universes and aliens, some more genocidal than others."

"I will admit, it was definitely the strangest Christmas I have had," Ziva half-agreed. "Though I have only had a fistful."

"Handful, usually," McGee said helpfully. "It certainly was strange."

"And it's going to get stranger, if you don't shut up about it," Gibbs told them. "Grab your gear, we've got a probable homicide."

"Back to routine," Tony muttered.

_USS Daedalus_

"Normandy is sending the ready signal," Marks reported.

Caldwell nodded. "General, would you like to say a final word?"

"I would. Open a channel."

"Channel open."

Clearing his throat, General Jack O'Neill began his speech. "I'm not really one for speeches, so I'll make this quick. In the past few days, some of the weirdest stuff in my life has happened. In that time, you've proven to be among the best, most courageous, honourable, skilled people I've worked with. We owe the crew of the Normandy a lot. We're going our own ways now, but I hope that our meeting has benefited us both. Good luck, and godspeed."

_Normandy SR-2_

"I could repeat the same sentiments to you," Commander Jane Shepard replied. "In the face of incredible adversity, your people managed to pull through, and you would not believe how much I respect that. We're going to miss you guys, but still, it's better to have met and lost than to have never met at all. Thanks for all you've done for us. Commander Shepard out."

She turned to the pilot. "Joker, take us home."

"Yes, ma'am," Flight Lieutenant Jeff Moreau replied. With a few swipes on the holographic interface, he engaged the ship's FTL drive.

_USS Daedalus_

"Normandy is gone, sir," Marks reported.

"Very well," Caldwell replied, sitting back down in his customary chair. He turned to the General, who nodded in response. "Take us home, Major."

As the Daedalus engaged the hyperdrive engines, Vala asked Daniel, "You know, Christmas doesn't seem all that great to me."

_Normandy SR-2_

There was a faint deceleration when the Normandy dropped out. Visible quite clearly was a planet almost exactly like the one they had left behind. Quietly, Jane asked, "Are we home?"

"Detecting multiple contacts," EDI reported. "Alliance warships, battle stations, and conventional civilian traffic. Extranet connection confirms date as December 25, 2185."

"We're home," Jane muttered.

_USS Daedalus_

The Daedalus appeared into real-space, leaving behind a maelstrom of rapidly decaying hyperspace eddies. Below them was a planet almost identical to the one they had just been orbiting.

"Receiving a transmission," Marks reported. "Putting it on speaker."

"This is General Landry of Stargate Command," a familiar voice said to them. "Welcome home, Daedalus."

"Could you give us the date, sir?" Caldwell asked.

"December 25, 2010. Christmas day."

"That settles it," Caldwell said to the bridge. "We're home."


	7. Epilogue

_December 31, 2010  
>Six Days Later<em>

"Since our initial encounter, we believed the Aschen were not a threat. Six days ago, that changed.

"Six days ago, that changed dramatically. During a mission to examine a subspace disturbance, the Daedalus was brutally attacked by Aschen vessels. If we weren't at war with the Aschen before, we certainly are now.

"It's going to be a different war. There's more of us, and we've got much better technology. As we speak, on Earth they're making the final preparations for disclosure. But we don't know a lot about the Aschen. And what we do know scares the hell out of us."

"We're taking action and we're taking it now. We're not going to wait for the Aschen to hit us where it hurts- we're doing it first. Specially equipped teams will drop in behind enemy lines to cripple the Aschen, while our starships hammer their fleet above. It's the first strike, but it won't be the last."

_December 31, 2185  
>Six Days Later<em>

"The Reapers are still out there. In fact, they are edging closer and closer right now.

"My arrival here was delayed by a wholly unexpected occurence, one which although strange, has given us the means to fight the Reapers. Before, it was nearly hopeless. But if we unite and stand as one, we can win this war!

"We can't let petty differences get in the way. We have the technology we need to win against the Reapers. We have the people we need to win against the Reapers What we don't have is the will. The galaxy is divided, and this trial is clear evidence of that.

"The Reapers will destroy all intelligent life in the galaxy. Everyone will die. There will be no future for any of us. And in another fifty thousand years, they'll come back and destroy the next generation. We can stop them. We have to stop them."

_January 1, 2011  
>One Week Later<em>

"Good hunting."

General Jack O'Neill paused to survey the scene before him. The Apollo, Odyssey, and Sun Tzu were arranged around the George Hammond, which would be his command ship for the duration of the mission. On his signal, they jumped into hyperspace, one after the other.

"Nice speech, sir," a voice complemented from behind him. He turned to face Colonel Carter.

"Thanks," he replied. "And I'm sorry I stole your ship."

"We need her anyway, sir," the newly promoted full Colonel Cameron Mitchell said lightly.

"Well, this is exciting," Vala whispered to Daniel.

A little too loudly, he rebuked, "Yes, if being dropped on a planet belonging to an enemy you know nothing about can be considered fun!"

"Indeed," Teal'c nodded neutrally.

"Dropping out of hyperspace in three... two... one..." the helm officer announced as they emerged into normal space.

Behind O'Neill, SG-1 fastened the helmets onto their combat hardsuits before disappearing in a flash of light. Just a few minutes into the new year, the first shots were fired by the Tau'ri, signalling the beginning of a new war like none before it.

_January 1, 2186  
>One Week Later<em>

"We will stop them!"

The crowd in front of her cheered. It was supposed to be a trial for her actions in the Bahek system, but had inevitably become an argument about the existence of the Reapers and what should be done to stop them. And so far, things had worked out in her favour.

"Nice speech, ma'am," a voice congratulated from behind her. She turned slightly towards Lieutenant Williams.

"I don't know if it'll do any good," Captain Anderson said more cynically from beside her. "The Batarians are pissed, and the brass cares more about appeasing them than the supposed threat of-"

The room suddenly shook violently, sending most of the audience to the floor. Alarms began blaring, and a dark shape was visible through the shattered windows. Several people shouted, "REAPERS!"

"Damn it to hell!" Williams shouted, drawing her pistol.

"We've got to get out of here!" Anderson stated.

"Yep, we do," Shepard said calmly. She tapped her wrist, bringing up the omni-tool. "Normandy, beam us up."

The trio disappeared in a flash of light. Outside, the Reapers descended on Earth, and amidst the chaos, one small frigate escaped, heading directly towards the Citadel and missing the relay entirely.


End file.
